#i will never be normal about this i swear
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off the court
paige bueckers x azzi fudd
themes: jealousy, angst, pining
word count: 3.1k
tw: alcohol use, swearing
a/n: hii my lovely’s! i honestly dk how i feel about this chapter, but i hope u guys enjoy it regardless. also please ignore the shift from past to present tense 😭 i realized i fucked it up like mid way thru but oh well! the movies i mentioned are also so good GO WATCH EM. and if u cant tell i love blushing i find it so cutesy. ALSO ONE SHOT IDEAS PLEASEEEEE. anyway, enjoy and hope y’all have a good week!
CHAPTER THREE
paige has a problem. it wasn’t that her aim was off, causing her to miss shot after shot. it wasn’t that her coach was yelling at her to get her head in the game. no, it wasn’t any of that. it was the fact paige couldn’t stop thinking about the curly brunette, even if her life depended on it.
ever since practice a few days ago, when azzi’s body was flush against hers, azzi had owned paige’s mind. and since her head is elsewhere, she failed to focus on everything else, especially basketball.
“what’s wrong with you?” nika asks paige, confused as to why her game was off, which is extremely rare for her.
without basketball, paige had nothing. basketball gave paige life, ever since a young age. even after trying other sports, her heart was always set on basketball. so when paige’s game had been acting up, it made her teammates, as well as coaches, confused.
paige glances at nika, “what? nothing.”
nika gave paige a don’t bullshit me look, “paige, cmon. you’ve been missing shots all day. something’s gotta be up.”
paige didn’t, wouldn’t tell nika about paige’s tiny issue. “i don’t know. bad day, i guess.”
“well get your shit together. we need you for tomorrow’s game.”
paige looks over at azzi, who was on the opposite side of the gym with caroline, “don’t worry, i will.”
later that night, paige was already laying in bed when her phone buzzes. it was a text from aubrey, asking the team group chat if anyone wanted to hang.
dorka, paige’s roommate, was already quietly sleeping on the opposite side of the room. paige looks at the time, 9:41 pm; she figured hanging out with her friends wasn’t the worst idea.
paige soon arrives at aubrey’s dorm. she opens the door to find a variety of her teammates; nika was seated on aubrey’s bed along with aubrey, lou was on the floor, while azzi and caroline were on jana’s bed, who wasn’t present.
fuck. of course azzi would show up, despite it being late at night. it was as if azzi somehow knew paige had been thinking about her- appearing just to torment her.
the two met eyes, paige held eye contact a tad longer than she normally would. heat creeped up azzi’s neck.
since there wasn’t much room on either beds, paige slumps against the bed azzi was sitting on.
“so what were y’all doing before i came in?” paige questions her teammates.
“trying to decide on a movie, but nobody is agreeing,” nika replies, annoyance in her voice.
“i say we watch she’s the man, but everyone here doesn’t have good taste, so nobody agrees with me,” aubrey says, rolling her eyes.
paige turns her head up to azzi, “what was your suggestion?”
azzi was caught off guard by paige’s question, “uh, i said about time.”
“oh my god, i love that movie. i agree with azzi,” paige announces.
azzi was shocked, to say the least. she never imagined a world where paige would agree with her.
they settle on about time. nika grabbed a few snacks and passed them around, while lou brought a few drinks in from the tiny kitchen.
a couple minutes into the film, paige grew uncomfortable with her spot on the ground. azzi noticed it by the constant shifting she had been doing. azzi reaches down to tap paige’s shoulder.
“you can come up here if you’re uncomfortable,” azzi whispers so the others wouldn’t be disturbed, while softly patting the spot next to her on the bed.
paige notices that her and carol had already shifted down, making room for paige. her lips curled into a small smile.
without a second thought, paige lifts from the floor and gently sets herself next to azzi, thighs nearly touching.
“thanks,” paige whispers. azzi simply nodded her head.
throughout the movie, paige’s thigh would occasionally graze azzi’s, sending butterflies to her stomach. there was a spark between the two, surely azzi felt it too.
caroline passes a bag of popcorn over to azzi, who instantly begins consuming it.
“can i have some?” paige questions lightly so she didn’t cause distractions for the others.
“of course,” azzi smiles, placing the popcorn in the middle of them.
their hands would graze while both going for the popcorn, paige let her touch linger longer than she should. she knew better. but her secret azzi fudd obsession got the better of her.
“sorry,” paige mutters, pulling her hand away after embarrassment covered her features.
“i don’t mind,” azzi looks at paige, a soft expression on her face.
paige had always been beautiful to azzi, but in this lighting, in aubrey’s small dorm, sitting on the same bed, mere inches apart, paige looked unreal. her blonde hair was the perfect kind of messy, lips were light pink, eyes so blue that they were practically transparent. paige’s cheeks flush at azzi’s eyes solely focused on her.
“okay guys! i’m exhausted, i’ll see y’all tomorrow,” nika jumps up from her spot, causing heads to look over at her.
paige and azzi took their attention away from each other, despite it being the hardest thing paige had to do.
“yeah, i should go too,” azzi agrees, beginning to move off the bed.
“same,” paige says, also moving from her spot.
the three say their goodbyes before leaving out aubrey’s dorm door. during the short walk down the hallway, the girls discuss their excitement for the first game of the season. they came to the end of the hall, where they could go either left, right, or continue straight. nika headed straight, off to her room. paige was going left, while azzi was going right. but both didn’t make any hints to move yet.
paige leans against the wall, azzi mimics her by doing the same on the opposite wall. a small smile crept onto her lips.
“you ready for tomorrow’s game?” paige questions the younger girl.
“beyond ready,” azzi’s smile only grows. she’s been waiting for this moment since before she could remember; her very first game in college basketball.
“you better be. i’m definitely gonna need you,” paige says without thinking. her eyes widen at her use of i’m. “we, i mean.”
azzi’s cheeks redden at paige’s comment about her needing azzi. not the team- her, accident or not.
“are you ready? you seemed kinda distracted at practice,” azzi brings up.
“i’m fine,” paige says harsher than she meant.
not wanting to deal with paige’s attitude, azzi sighs, “alright. see you tomorrow.”
paige desperately wanted azzi to stay with her. she wanted to grab her by the hand and pull her close; but she knew she couldn’t do that.
“yeah, see ya.”
the next morning, paige immediately shuts down any azzi thoughts from the previous day. she needs to focus on the game. it was the first of the season, and she eagerly wanted to make it a good one.
she brushes her teeth, washes her face, dresses herself, as dorka did the same.
“ready for this, p?” dorka smiles, excitement buzzing off her tall frame.
“always,” she matches her smile.
the two girls grab their bags and head down to the dining hall to grab some breakfast. nika, aubrey, jana, lou, carol and azzi were already seated and eating away.
paige prepares her meal before taking the spot besides jana, directly across from none other than azzi. they quickly lock eyes before looking away equally as quickly.
the team discusses plays they wanted to run in the upcoming game, all participating and giving suggestions. they soon finish eating before heading down to the gym for some smaller workouts, to get somewhat warmed up.
paige was still struggling to make her shots that she’d normally be making. when azzi notices, she casually walks over.
“can i suggest something?” azzi asks.
paige looks over at her, “hm?”
azzi strolls closer to the older girl, close enough to where paige felt her breath on
the back of her neck.
“what are you doing?” paige asks, breathlessly.
azzi places her hand on paige’s, adjusting it to where she liked. she then moves her elbow, “fixing your form.”
once azzi was done, paige shoots the ball, and is surprised to see it actually go through the basket.
“thanks, i guess,” paige grins.
the two girls continue shooting, getting their reps in when the time came to begin actual warm ups.
the game was about to begin; paige, nika, aubrey, azzi and jana were the starting 5. azzi feels an intense amount of pressure to do well, since she’s the only freshmen starting tonight.
the five girls huddle together, wide grins on their smiles, beyond ready to get this season going. paige speaks words of encouragement to her teammates as they all get into position.
uconn was up by 31 points, azzi having 19 while paige has 21.
paige runs the ball up the court, eyeing each teammate of hers. she passes the ball over to nika, who throws it over to azzi. she effortlessly makes the open 3, causing loud roars from the uconn student section.
the team was on a 9-0 run in the third quarter when paige sprints near half court and collides with a member from the other team.
azzi watches it happen and rushes over a little too quickly, for someone who claimed to hate her. azzi appears in front of the older girl, who was lying on the floor face up, and gently places her hands on her knees.
“are you okay?” azzi asks, worry laced in her tone.
paige was silent for a moment, still dazed by the impact. but when she glanced up at the brunette, a sense of calm quickly washed over her.
“yeah,” she answers, grabbing azzi’s hands that were being held out to her.
their hands held onto one another’s a moment too long. their bodies were slightly touching; neither made any movements.
it wasn’t until coach auriemma yelled at them did either of the girls make a move. paige was substituted for ashlynn to rest, and eventually, azzi was also subbed out for caroline to give other players a chance to play, as they were dominating the opposing team.
azzi settles down next to paige, the only spot open on the bench. their thighs were full on touching since the seats were so tight.
azzi rests her elbows on her knees before turning to paige, “you sure you’re okay? that fall looked like it hurt.”
paige smiles at azzi’s worry, “why? do you care or something?” she teases.
azzi’s face lit up with red, “um, no. of course not.”
paige lets out a soft chuckle before playfully pushing the brunette’s face, who who responds with a wide grin, dimples and all.
paige matches her smile with one of her own. god. she was otherworldly.
“you’re so fucking pretty,” paige mumbles, barely audible for azzi to hear, while dropping her heads, wrapping her arms under.
“sorry, what’d you say?”
“nothing,” paige replies, definitely not repeating her words.
the game ends, the teams high five one another before heading to the locker rooms.
“guys, since we played so well today, we should definitely celebrate,” jana suggests.
“what are you thinking?” nika asks, a smile tugging at her lips.
“ted’s, of course,” she laughs, “is everyone good with 7?”
each team member agree to meet at ted’s, the bar most uconn students attended, around 7. paige was buzzing at the idea of a dirty shirley temple, desperately needing one to get her mind off someone.
paige showered, applied light makeup, and picked out a comfortable but nice outfit.
around 6:55, paige leaves her apartment with dorka at her side, heading to ted’s.
the bar was absolutely packed with uconn students as well as the women’s basketball team. nika was talking to the bartender, aubrey was laughing at something jana said, while azzi was throwing back a shot.
the air seemed to shift when paige’s gaze lands on the young brunette. her heart instantly quickens as she took in her outfit. a light purple tank top that fit her in all the right places, paired with jean shorts that were doing wonders for her ass. her curls were down, slightly messy but in the most beautiful way possible.
making eye contact with paige causes azzi’s breath to hitch. heat floods her cheeks as she remembers the moments between them from earlier today.
stepping closer to the bar, paige lowers herself into an open seat, directly across from azzi who was completely surrounded by teammates. dorka took the spot next to her while lou made herself over to the two girls.
“dorka! p!” lou greets them, clearly already drunk.
“hey lou lou,” dorka smiles at her friend.
paige waves over the bartender, “can i please have a dirty shirley temple?”
the bartender nods, immediately reaching for a glass. paige was dying for a drink in her hand to take her mind off everything and everyone.
the shirley burns her throat as she took several gulps, downing nearly half the glass.
“calm down there, p,” dorka laughs at paige’s urgency to consume the drink as fast as possible.
“just thirsty,” paige replies.
after finishing her second shirley temple is when she noticed a tall man talking to azzi. her azzi. her fists clench at her sides as she throws a glare their way.
the man then lowers himself into the open seat next to her while casually shifting close, making their faces mere inches apart. azzi fidgets with her fingers, suddenly nervous from the attention.
paige presses her lips in a line to hold back her growing anger that was screaming to come out. all she wanted to do was walk over there and take what’s hers.
paige orders several more drinks, shots, whatever she could to hopefully get rid of the scene in front of her.
when a piece of azzi’s hair falls in front of her face, the man reaches out and brushes it behind her ear. his hand lingers for a moment too long, only causing paige to become more aggravated.
azzi laughs at something he said and paige decides she’s had enough. although she was completely aware she shouldn’t be doing this, she was supposed to hate azzi, she couldn’t help herself. she clutches her drink tightly in her grasp, a idea trickling in her head, and marches over there.
azzi almost instantly spots the blonde moving towards her at a rapid pace. her eyes widen when paige accidentally trips, spilling her drink all over the man.
satisfaction covered paige’s features, proud of her doing.
“jesus fucking christ!” he yelps, quickly jumping up from his position next to azzi.
“i am so sorry,” paige pretends to be genuine and concerned, even though herself and azzi knew it was complete bullshit.
the man grabs napkins, desperately trying to pat himself down, but ultimately failing. he walks away without as much as a glance back at the curly brunette, who continues to remain silent.
“did you seriously have to do that?” azzi questions paige, annoyance on her face.
“it was an accident, azzi,” paige sighs.
“sure it was,” azzi mutters as she grips her drink.
“it was,” paige replies defensively.
paige allows herself to sit where the man once was, feeling the air grow electric with the two being so close. azzi looks almost shaken by their close proximity, her eyes roaming paige’s body.
“paigey!” nika slurs, suddenly grabbing paige’s shoulders.
paige turns to her friend who was beaming, “what’s up nik?”
“oh my goodness, you totally missed it…” nika rants on and on about the hot bartender who was totally checking her out.
“i’ll be back,” nika grins as she jogs off to talk with the bartender once again.
“at least she’s getting some action,” azzi says, rolling her eyes.
“oh my god, i am so sorry i ruined the two minute conversation you had with some idiot. if you’re so interested in him, then be my guest; go find the fucker.”
“maybe i will,” azzi bites out, getting up from her spot and taking off towards the crowd.
it shocks paige that azzi actually went through with it- disappoints her, too. did she genuinely like the guy?
regretting her words, paige follows azzi’s trail, quickly catching up to the freshmen. she grabs her arm, making her twist around to face her.
“please, wait,” paige slurs in her drunken state.
“what do you want?” azzi questions, desperate to know paige’s intentions.
“you,” paige whispers, so quietly azzi can barely make it out.
“speak up, paige,” azzi replies, annoyed.
“please don’t go after him.”
azzi’s eyes crinkle, “and why not? you’re not my keeper.”
paige rests her hands on either one of azzi’s hips, uncontrollably pulling the younger girl closer.
“i know. i know,” she whispers, “just stay. stay here with me.”
azzi was taken aback from paige’s soft tone and sweet words. it was unlike paige to be like this to azzi, so azzi pieced together she must be drunk out of her mind.
“you’re drunk, paige,” azzi says.
“i’m sober enough,” paige’s lips turn up as she moves her hands to azzi’s face.
with her face in her hands, paige rests her forehead against the curly brunette’s, while her gaze drops down to her full, pink lips.
“what are you doing, paige?”
paige closes her eyes, not wanting to think about everything wrong with what she was doing and how it’d be like tomorrow.
“i don’t know. fuck, i don’t know. i just want to be close to you,” she whispers.
azzi gently places her hands on paige’s waist, pulling the older girl impossibly closer.
“fuck, az,” paige mutters, “i can’t stop thinking about you.”
paige was all azzi could hear, despite the loud crowd and blasting music around her. and her words meant everything.
“no matter how hard i try, you’re always there. you with your perfect curls and cute ass dimples,” paige smiles, twisting with a singular curl with her finger.
“oh yeah?” azzi matches the grin.
“yeah,” paige says, gaze focused on her lips.
right as paige leans in, azzi suddenly jerks back, her eyes wide with panic.
“p- paige, no. you’re drunk. you’ll regret it tomorrow,” she stutters, frantically stepping out of paige’s touch.
paige reaches out for azzi’s frame, “no i won’t.”
practically tripping over herself, azzi rushes over to her previous seat with paige right on her heels. she grabs her belongings before giving a lone glance back at the blonde; she was breathing hard, hands slightly shaking, with a disappointed yet shameful expression on her face.
azzi turns away and is gone before paige had the time to blink.
“god fucking dammit,” paige mutters to herself, ashamed of her actions that caused azzi to run off.
paige finds an open spot at the bar and orders yet another round of shots, not caring about the concerned looks she was receiving from her teammates.
paige swallows shot after shot, trying to drown her sorrows and any lingering thoughts of azzi. of course she had to ruin whatever was happening between them. of course.
“paige, don’t you think that’s enough for tonight?” aubrey cautiously questions her friend.
paige drunkenly chuckles, “not even close,” throwing back another burning shot.
#azzi fudd#paige bueckers#pazzi#uconn wbb#nika muhl#uconn huskies#basketball#paige x azzi#fanfic#pazzi fics#paige buckets#fan fiction#uconn women’s basketball
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𝜗𝜚 Spooky Call.
Spencer Reid x Hotchner!reader
Summary: When your boyfriend gets a call from you, the last thing he expects to hear is that you're being held at a police station for decorating your house.
Words: 2,2k.
TW: fem!reader. mention of haley's death, jack, crime, murder, blood (fake). implication that the reader is wearing jeans and a t-shirt (not very descriptive). reader is hotch's sister. established relationship. spencer being the standard. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).
Note: This was the last fic of my october special, but I had problems and never posted it, so I had to change the plot a bit and here it is.
♡ Enjoy! ♡
You’ve always hated asking for help. It wasn’t just a matter of pride—it was the belief that you could, and should, handle everything yourself. Life, however, had a cruel way of reminding you that it didn’t always work like that. Everyone needs help sometimes. At least, that’s what people—well-meaning friends, family, even your boyfriend—kept telling you. We live in a society; there are people who love you; they’d want to help, they’d say. Blah, blah, blah. The sentiment was kind, sure, but it never stuck with you. Not really.
Today, though, maybe you should’ve listened.
All you wanted was to throw your nephew a belated Halloween party. It wasn’t like you were planning anything crazy. Just a few decorations, some music, and a bit of creativity—how hard could it be? Nothing about it seemed complicated or dangerous, not at first. You’d seen your brother overwhelmed trying to keep things normal for Jack, and you figured this was something you could handle on your own. Something small but meaningful.
Somehow, things got out of your control, and now you were sitting in your boyfriend's car in the police station parking lot trying to organize your thoughts to explain to him how you had ended up arrested in the first place.
“This has a perfectly reasonable and not at all criminal explanation. I swear.” You began to speak as you noticed by the watch on his wrist that three minutes of complete silence had already passed.
It had only been a year since you started dating officially, and there were still some things you were afraid Spencer would see, especially the things that got you in trouble for doing stupid things. You'd liked him for a long time, even before he realized you could be more than just his friend and his boss's sister. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin everything and make him run away in terror, even though that didn't sound very much like him or his values.
“This better be a good explanation,” Reid finally said, his voice calm but tinged with confusion. He placed the car keys down in the cupholder and turned to look at you fully. “Because right now, I’m struggling to understand how decorating your house could get you arrested.”
You squirmed in your seat, the knot in your stomach twisting tighter. “It’s…complicated,” you mumbled, avoiding his eyes.
Please don't think I'm weird. Please don't think I'm weird. Please don't think I'm weird. That was the only thing that kept repeating in your mind.
“I’m sure it is,” he finally said, his tone dry but still patient, his gaze never wavering.
You exhaled sharply, dragging your hands down your face. “Okay. So, I started with simple decorations—some cobwebs, pumpkins, and all the usual stuff. But it just…it wasn’t enough. I wanted to do something big. Something really cool.”
He raised an eyebrow, silently urging you to continue.
“So, I got this idea,” you said, hesitating. You could already feel the heat rising in your face. “I took a garbage bag, stuffed it with paper to make it look like a body, and then—” You paused, your voice dropping slightly. “Then I added some fake blood. A lot of fake blood.”
His eyes widened, the corners of his mouth twitching like he was trying to hold back a laugh. “You didn’t.”
“I did,” you admitted, wincing. “But it looked amazing! For like…five minutes.” You gestured vaguely toward the dashboard, trying to find the words to defend yourself. “I might have spilled some of the fake blood on the lawn. And…it might’ve looked a little too real.”
Too real, extra real.
“A little?” Spencer asked, incredulous. “You mean realistic enough to make the neighbors call the cops?”
You winced, expecting him to think you were ridiculous—or worse, stupid. But then, to your surprise, his lips quirked into a soft laugh.
“Hey, don’t laugh at me!” You snapped, crossing your arms over your chest when you saw the faintest smirk tugging at his lips.
Yeah, maybe you didn't want him to think you were weird, but you didn't like being laughed at either.
“I’m not laughing,” he said, though the hint of amusement in his voice betrayed him.
“You are absolutely laughing,” you huffed, your pout deepening. “It’s not funny, Spencer.”
He took a deep breath, finally managing to suppress his laughter—mostly. His hand reached out to tilt your chin up gently, forcing you to meet his gaze. The warmth in his hazel eyes softened the sting of your embarrassment.
“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely, though his lips still twitched with the ghost of a smile. “I really am, angel. But you have to admit, you went a little overboard with the ‘terrifying’ concept.”
And there it was, the kind of sweetness that had made you fall for him so hard. The kind you'd expect to receive without question after spending at least half an hour locked in a filthy cell.
You sighed, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly. “Okay, maybe. But in my head, it wasn’t that bad,” you said weakly. “It just…went a little wrong.”
“A little?” he repeated, his eyebrows raising again. “You got arrested. You scared half the neighborhood into thinking they’d stumbled onto a crime scene.”
“At least it wasn’t illegal!” You shot back, crossing your arms defensively. “I didn’t actually hurt anyone. I just made a mess. With fake blood.”
Spencer’s gaze dropped to your hands, where smears of red clung stubbornly to your skin. His eyes flicked to your clothes—your jeans, your shirt, both stained with dried streaks of crimson. A slow grin spread across his face.
“It wasn’t illegal, but now you look like you walked off the set of a slasher movie,” he said, his voice filled with teasing affection. “Here—and here.” He gestured to a streak of red on your shoulder, then another on your cheek.
You were about to protest when he suddenly leaned in. His face was so close now, his breath warm against your skin. Before you could say another word, his lips brushed softly against yours—a brief, gentle kiss that caught you off guard. You froze for a moment, your heart skipping a beat. Then, as if it had all been a slow, perfect dance, you melted into him. His lips were warm and tender, the kiss slow and sweet, like a quiet promise that everything, even in the chaos of your night, was going to be okay.
When he pulled back, your breath caught, your chest fluttering in that way only he could make you feel. His grin was wide, playful, but there was something else in his eyes—a depth, a tenderness that made your heart thud. You blinked up at him, still dazed from the warmth of his kiss.
“For the record,” he murmured, his voice soft, his lips still dangerously close to yours, “I never thought you were a criminal. Just a little…overly enthusiastic.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, a genuine, warm sound bubbling out of you. “Overly enthusiastic,” you echoed, shaking your head. “That’s one way to put it.”
“And messy,” he added, his eyes twinkling as they lingered on the fake blood smeared across your face.
“Don’t push your luck, Dr. Reid,” you warned, though the smile on your face betrayed you.
Spencer chuckled softly, the sound melting into the quiet of the car. He leaned in then, his lips brushing against your forehead in a gentle, lingering kiss that felt like a promise—quiet, tender, and full of unspoken reassurance. The warmth of his touch seeped into you, and you closed your eyes for a brief moment, savoring the comfort of his presence.
As he pulled back, he studied you with that signature look—the one that always made you feel like he could see straight into your soul. His brow furrowed slightly, and you recognized that expression well: the one he wore when he was about to ask something important, when he wanted to understand you better. It was a look that never failed to make your heart flutter, even if it made you feel vulnerable.
“Okay,” he said slowly, his tone gentler now. “I get wanting to make the decorations amazing, but why was it so important? Why go all out to the point of, well…” He gestured vaguely toward you, his lips twitching again. “Fake crime scene levels of effort?”
You hesitated, his question hitting you like a wave. You knew the answer, but speaking it aloud felt heavier than you had anticipated. It was as though the words themselves had a weight you hadn’t been prepared to carry. You lowered your gaze, absently picking at the hem of your shirt as you fought to find the right words, your mind tangled in emotions that were hard to articulate.
Reid didn’t push, though. His silence was patient, waiting for you to open up at your own pace. It was one of the things you adored about him—the way he didn’t rush, didn’t demand. He just let you be, trusting you would share when you were ready.
Finally, you exhaled a shaky breath and met his eyes, the vulnerability in your voice clear as you spoke. “It’s not just about the decorations,” you admitted softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s about Jack.”
His expression shifted immediately, his eyes softening with understanding but remaining focused as you continued.
“I just…” You swallowed, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. “I want to be the perfect aunt for him, you know? Someone who makes things better, even if just for a little while. He’s been through so much—losing Hayley, seeing my brother juggle everything just to make sure Jack’s okay…” Your voice wavered, and you clenched your hands to steady yourself. “He’s only a kid. He deserves to feel happy and safe and…loved.”
Maybe that last word was too personal, and maybe your boyfriend noticed.
He reached out, his fingers brushing against yours in a silent offer of comfort. You took his hand, the warmth of his touch grounding you enough to keep going.
“I know I can’t replace his mom, and I’d never try to,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “But I thought maybe, just maybe, if I did this party right—if I made it something really special—it could be a distraction. Something fun. Something he could look back on and smile about instead of just…” You trailed off, biting your lip as the words lodged in your throat.
He squeezed your hand gently, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a soothing rhythm. “Instead of just remembering what he’s lost,” he finished for you, his voice soft and understanding.
You nodded, blinking back the sting of tears. “Yeah.”
The car was quiet for a moment, the weight of your confession settling between you. Then Spencer shifted closer, his free hand reaching up to brush a stray tear from your cheek. The tenderness in his touch made your chest ache in a way that was both painful and comforting.
“You don’t have to be perfect,” he said gently, his voice steady and sure. “You’re already doing more for him than you realize. Just by being there, by loving him the way you do…that’s what matters. Not decorations or parties or anything else.”
His words hit you squarely in the heart, and you let out a shaky laugh, the tension in your chest loosening just a fraction. “I just wanted it to be perfect,” you admitted, leaning into his touch. “I didn’t want to mess it up and end up in a cell.”
Reid smiled softly, his fingers brushing lightly against your jaw as he held your gaze. “You didn’t mess it up,” he said firmly. “Okay, maybe the decorations were a little unconventional,” he added with a playful glint in his eye. “But your heart was in the right place. And Jack knows that. He loves you and thinks you’re wonderful, just like I do.”
You felt your breath catch at his words, the warmth in his eyes making your cheeks flush despite everything. “You’ve really become good at this, you know,” you said quietly, a small smile tugging at your lips. “The whole comforting and making me blushing thing.”
He let out a soft chuckle, giving your cheek a gentle tap with his thumb before pulling back slightly. “I might have read eleven books to brush up on a few things and be better,” he said, his tone light but not dismissive.
You chuckled, the sound lifting the tension that had been pulling at your chest. “Eleven books? You really went all in on this, huh?”
His arm slipped around your shoulders, drawing you closer, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against you grounding and reassuring. “When it’s you,” he said softly, “I’d go even further than that.”
You leaned your head against his shoulder, feeling the weight of the world ease off your shoulders. A quiet thought lingered in your mind, one you hadn’t been able to put into words until now. “But…sometimes, don’t you think I’m weird?” you asked, the vulnerability creeping in despite yourself.
Please say no.
“Weird? No,” he murmured, his breath warm against your hair. “I think you’re perfect.” He paused for a moment, then added with a soft laugh, “And every day, I’m grateful you don’t think I’m weird either.”
You smiled, the knot in your chest loosening, the weight of uncertainty fading as his words settled in. “Guess we both can be a little weird then,” you said, the truth of it comforting you more than you expected.
He chuckled, the sound easy and light, as he pulled you a little closer, holding you in a way that spoke of quiet promises. “It’s perfect for me.”
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#moontober <3#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!readr#spencer reid x fanfiction#matthew gray gubler
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99 Jungwon
"you swear you've never sucked cock before?" jungwon pants, chest rising and falling quickly as he attempts to maintain some sort of composure while you deepthroat him almost too casually.
you glance up at him with large doe eyes, shaking your head slightly with the tip of his cock still between your lips. you let out a low grumble in response, making jungwon groan and stumble forward from the vibration. you let yourself gag on him, wanting him to experience the full satisfaction that he's slightly too big for your inexperienced mouth.
"fuck, could've fooled me. this mouth was made for me."
it's hard not to smile at the compliment. instead, you keep bobbing your head up and down his length, making sure to flatten your tongue alongside him as you do so. drool is pooling down the corners of your mouth and your vision is starting to get blurry from the tears, but you don't care. you've been wanting this for so long and seeing jungwon's face contort with twisted pleasure just from your ministrations is enough to have a pool of your own arousal dripping to the floor.
"i can't believe no one has had you like this before. now that i've got you like this i don't think i can let you go."
you pull away from him with a gasp, wiping the drool and precum off your face with the back of your hand. "you can have all of me if that's what you want." you look up at him excitedly, expectingly even. everything leading up to this moment has been only a tinnnyyy bit calculated by you. okay maybe a LOT. but who could blame you? you've had a crush on jungwon for as long as you could remember. but instead of confessing your feelings for your friend like a normal person, you decided to complain to him about being inexperienced. hoping, praying, that he'd take the bait and offer to show you how it's done.
easiest catch of your life. the sentence was barely out of your mouth before jungwon was eagerly offering you his swollen and needy cock.
little did you know he was actually trying to come up with a similar plan of his own.
"y-you can't just...say stuff like that...while looking at me like that," jungwon moans, hands coming forward to cusp your cheeks before moving his hips back and forth at a more steady pace.
"fuck, okay. i wanted to come down your throat but now you're making me think of...other things. has anyone been inside you before?"
he's still rocking his length in and out of your throat so all you can do is attempt to convey your answer with your eyes.
"o-okay. i have so much to teach you then. a-ahhh-," jungwon hisses as you swallow around him, "if your mouth is already this good i can only imagine what your pussy will feel like. lay on your back will you? i want to get you prepped first," he smirks, hovering over you and holding your gaze as you lie down, "it's gonna be a long night."
for part of my 1k follower celebration send me a member and a number from this list and i'll write a short drabble about it ♡ masterlist
#jungwon with a corruption kink? pls tell me you see the vision#jayparked 1k drabble event#jungwon smut#jungwon hard hours#jungwon hard thoughts#enhypen smut#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#jungwon x you#jungwon x reader#enhypen x you#enhypen x reader
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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 4 part 7
(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])
(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7])
THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE 4 ENTRY I SWEAR
agatha: why yes I'm listening politely because I'm being sociable, not because this story concerns me in any way shape or form
she did NOT want TO DO IT AGATHA. HE WAS HER SON TOO AGATHA. did you ever give her a chance to SAY any of THAT. damn rio is (metaphorically) fighting for her life here. waiting centuries to catch her wife with her guard down next to a random fire, and then reworking her LONG PLANNED SPEECH into bite sized easily digestible bits so that her emotionally stunted soulmate doesn't run away screaming
I was doing MY DAMN FUCKING JOB agatha
agatha looks away like whooops! wasn't listening! wasn't looking at you! no sir, not me!
that's right. acknowledge her feelings. show her that you understand but that you're hurting too. be mature. you're doing great. god the way she swallows and stares right ahead, so determined. this is such a crucial moment for her.
agatha: i'm stone cold. I'm a wall. this is not affecting me in the slightest. I'm bored, really.
lilia not missing a word of what rio's saying
lmao the neutral pronoun lasted two seconds. she's not even trying to pretend like she isn't talking about agatha. and the way she nods to herself like yes, I did the best I could with this. so, there.
"she is my scar" is going to the sapphic annals, isn't it?
LMAOOOO the unblinking cat stare. rio is like I WAS TALKING TO YOU DUM-DUM. I KNOW IT, YOU KNOW IT, EVERYONE AROUND THIS GODDAMN FIRE KNOWS IT. CAN YOU PLEASE PLEASE FUCKING TALK TO ME PLEASE DEAR GOD
and agatha doing a teeny tiny side glance and going whoooooooops not looking! I'm NOT looking! I'm not even here! and scrunching her face more and more trying to keep it blank
AND she's gone. she's so predictable lmaooo. every dang time.
awkwaaaaaard
rio with her soft smile again! with the little amused eye roll! never getting mad at agatha's antics. she's like FINE I'll come after you, you BIG BABY. the patience this woman has
lilia is so scared of rio because somehow, through her exceptional Seer abilities, she knew instinctively that this is her mortal foe. but something funny has just happened: here in front of her there's just a regular little guy, a bit odd maybe, doing her little thing, trying to talk to her ex. might it be... might it be that death isn't a monster, that it's just a thing, a strange but natural thing that happens to everybody? lilia cannot accept that quite yet. so she grabs rio and says no, no. I've seen what you are. you're scary, you're evil, you're dangerous. this is lilia's survival instincts kicking in. we are simply wired to fear death, that's just how humans are. it takes an exceptional mind and soul to see past that.
oh god, here we go, here we go. deep breaths (I'm telling this to myself tbh. i need the pep talk)
stroking her hair so gently. soft, tentative.
hey, subtitle people??? what the fuck??
rio just stands and stares. lets agatha decide what comes next, goes at her pace always
the haiR CARESSING
the HUG. the BIG SIGH. this bitch was running away screaming from rio just yesterday. and here she is. her love. her partner. she finally acknowledges rio's pain and all that they lost and all that they were (and still are tbh) to each other. THIS is what rio was looking for. she's not flirting to manipulate and deflect now, she's not being somebody else. this is agatha cracked open and bleeding love and sorrow
and they melt into each other, and they're rocking each other back and forth, with all their pain and tenderness and longing
agatha with her face buried in rio's shoulder. I'm unwell
and then agatha gently pushes rio back and strokes her hair and cradles her face like she did so many times before and leans in and here I am giving you a play-by-play and running a commentary like a totally normal and sane person would
you know what makes for a perfect onscreen kiss imo? no it's not tongue, although these two will give us plenty of that too. it's the TREMBLING. THE HESITATION. THE YEARNING.
rio and her superhuman willpower. couldn't be me.
and and and and and agatha looks at her puzzled for a second and doesn't register what's happening and dives for a kiss again she's so far gone. the feral animal noises I'm making you have no idea
THE ICY SHOWER
THE STEP BACK. THE MOST PAINED SMILE
THE REGRET
I think one big reason why agatha is always so calculated is because she's afraid her instincts will take over. she does something big and spectacular and stupid and then calls it a 'calculated risk' when it was actually a rush of fear, desire, sorrow, anger that she couldn't control. tonight rio has managed to poke a little hole into a carefully constructed dam, and now all the water is rushing out and tearing down the walls. agatha has rio in her arms and her shape, her scent, her skin are so nostalgic and familiar. her brain goes on autopilot, she's been lonely for so long, she is FAMISHED for love and connection and sex and acceptance. rio wanted her to open up, but agatha doesn't do half-measures. rio wanted her to give for a change, but agatha can only ever take.
rio HAS to put a stop to it. she puts logic before heart, one of them has to and you know agatha isn't gonna. more than anything rio wants to take this one perfect moment and run away with it, but instead she tears herself away and asks, what happens next? what happens if I have to take billy away from you? that reanimated corpse, that freak of nature who walked into your life only yesterday and took over?
billy is now part of the equation and rio cannot ignore it. she has been so gentle and careful with agatha, easing her into a reconciliation that is now in jeopardy because here comes billy maximoff like a sword of damocles! what happens if agatha takes her back only for rio to break her heart all over again? there would be no coming back from that. rio cannot help being the grim reaper just as much as agatha cannot help being a succubus, and she is almost at her breaking point here. because she is hurting too! she is sick of having to be the mature one! she's sick of always coming in second after all of agatha's issues! turns out there's a limit even to the heartbreak an impossibly old and wise being can take.
(and now I need a smoke and a future episode that is just 30 minutes of hot but soft cuddles and kisses and sweet nothings. please.)
once again a big shoutout and thank you to all the people reaching out and leaving comments, it's incredible to hear from you all @crybabyheathen @onceuponalegendbg @idkbroletssee @psychicsolanum @73chn1c0l0rr3v3l @a-tad-bit-obsessed @a-rusty-bucket-of-woes @miacheezytoon @isagrimorie @april-december @aquaaquila and I'm probably forgetting someone but I see you all and I appreciate you so much!
and now for something extra
#agatha all along#agathario#agatha deep dive#rio vidal#agatha harkness#lilia calderu#character study
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The running gag of cole being bad at cooking (at least until dr) is funny until I think about how he probably had no other choice but to eat whatever he cooked because he was never able to properly learn and couldn't afford to waste food due to his dad's neglect, so he doesn't see a problem with his cooking because he's used to it
The bits where he talks to himself and catches himself talking to nobody is cute until I think about how he probably did that just to fill the silence when his dad left him alone at home so he feels like there's somebody around and listening to him for once since his mom passed
And yet these aspects of his character are just brushed off as gags when. Honestly they're most likely a result of trauma or a trauma response
I'm very normal about this i swear
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Invisible | Part 22
Bucky x reader AU
Word count: 4.7k
Warnings: SMUTTTTTTTTTT
A/N: Okay so look I don't normally write smut. I've never done it before this is as good as it's gonna get. I apologize in advance xoxoxoxox 🫶🏻💅
The door to the apartment slammed shut with a force that rattled the frame. Sam, who was lounging on the couch with a beer in hand, turned his head fast, eyebrows raised.
“Whoa, buddy, easy there. We’ve got neighbors,” Sam joked, trying to lighten the tension.
Steve stood by the door, his hands on his hips, chest heaving like he’d just run a marathon. He muttered, “Sorry,” before running a hand through his hair and stepping into the living room.
Sam sat up straighter, instantly on alert. “Okay… what happened? You look like you’ve just been through the wringer.”
Steve exhaled sharply, moving to the kitchen and grabbing a beer from the fridge. He twisted the cap off and leaned against the counter, taking a long sip before answering. “I ran into her.”
Sam blinked, caught off guard. “Her? You mean Y/N?”
Steve nodded, his jaw tightening. “Yeah.”
Sam frowned, setting his beer on the coffee table. “And?”
“And apparently Natasha asked her for space,” Steve said, his tone heavy with frustration.
Sam’s eyebrows shot up. “Nat? Why?”
Steve’s laugh was humorless as he pushed off the counter and paced the room. “Because of me.”
Sam leaned forward, now completely invested. “What do you mean because of you?”
Steve stopped pacing, raking a hand through his hair again. “Y/N told me that Natasha’s in love with me.”
Sam choked on his beer mid-sip, coughing violently as he tried to recover. “I’m sorry, what?”
Steve’s expression was grim. “Apparently, Nat’s been in love with me for years.”
Sam blinked rapidly, trying to process. “I mean… I always noticed the looks, but I didn’t know it was like that.”
Steve froze, narrowing his eyes at Sam. “What looks?”
Sam raised his hands defensively. “The longing looks, man. Nat’s good at hiding her feelings, but every once in a while, when you’re looking at Y/N, Nat’s looking at you like…” He trailed off, shrugging. “Like she wishes you’d look at her that way.”
Steve’s lips pressed into a thin line as he grabbed a chair and sank into it, cracking open the beer. He took another sip before saying, “That’s not all.”
Sam’s eyebrows shot up again. “Oh, God, what else? I swear this shits gonna be the death of me.”
Steve stared at the table, his voice low. “I told her.. she shouldn’t be with Bucky. That she should be with me.”
This time, Sam didn’t just choke—he spit out his beer entirely, coughing and spluttering. “You said what?! Steven I—”
Steve ignored him, cutting him off, his words tumbling out in a flood. “I couldn’t hold it in, Sam. Seeing her with him, hearing about how they’re just together now like it was always meant to be—because apparently it is, but it’s just killing me. And I said it. I told her she should be with me.”
Sam stared at him, wide-eyed. “You’re insane,” he muttered.
Steve sighed deeply, rubbing his temples. “And then she said…” His voice wavered slightly. “She said we’re all leaving her. Nat, me, and apparently you.”
The room fell into a heavy silence. Sam shifted uncomfortably, his beer suddenly less appealing.
Steve’s sharp gaze locked onto him. “What did she mean by that, Sam?”
Sam hesitated, his fingers fidgeting with the beer bottle. “I was gonna talk to you tonight,” he admitted.
Steve’s brow furrowed. “Talk to me about what?”
Sam let out a breath, leaning back into the couch. “I got a promotion at work.”
Steve’s eyes lit up briefly with surprise. “That’s great, man. Holy shit, congratulations!”
Sam gave a small, bittersweet smile. “Thanks. But, uh… the thing is, it’s across the country, to Washington to be exact, I’ll be moving in two weeks.”
Steve’s face fell, and he let out a quiet, “Shit.”
Sam nodded, the weight of the confession heavy in the room. “Yeah. I didn’t want to drop this on you all at once, but I guess it’s as good a time as any.”
Steve stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. “I’m proud of you, Sam. Really. You deserve this. But damn…” He ran a hand through his hair again. “Looks like I’ll need to move.”
Sam chuckled softly. “Yeah, sorry about that. Maybe at the next farmers market Nat will buy you the rest of the farm ceramics you can move em into my room, start charging rent..”
Steve snorted, though the humor didn’t quite reach his eyes. The two of them sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their respective issues hanging in the air.
Finally, Sam broke the silence. “So… what are you gonna do about Natasha?”
Steve looked down at his beer, his expression conflicted. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I’m not even sure I’m in the right headspace to do anything about it.”
Sam nodded slowly. “Fair enough. But you know she deserves better than waiting around for you to figure it out, right?”
Steve’s lips pressed into a thin line. “I know,” he said quietly.
“And what about Y/N? What are you gonna do about what you said to her?”
Steve sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping. “I don’t know. She probably told Bucky by now, and I’m sure he’s ready to kill me.”
Sam raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, you really stepped in it this time, man.”
Steve shot him a look. “Thanks for the support.”
Sam shrugged, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Hey, I’m just saying what we’re both thinking. You’re gonna have to figure this out, Steve. Because right now? It’s a mess.”
Steve let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
They both sat there in silence again, the enormity of everything weighing heavily on them. Sam finally clapped Steve on the shoulder. “Look, no matter how much of a shitshow this is, it won't be like this forever man, its us, all of us.”
Steve gave him a small, grateful smile. “Thanks, man.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” Sam said, leaning back. “You’ve got some serious damage control to do first.”
As the weight of the conversation hung in the air, Sam leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He let out a dramatic sigh, running a hand over his face before shooting Steve a mock-serious look.
“Y’know, I can’t leave in good conscience if all my children aren’t okay,” he said, gesturing broadly as if addressing a group.
Steve frowned, confused. “Your children?”
Sam smirked, leaning back and crossing his arms. “Yeah, my children. You, Y/N, Bucky, Nat, Wanda—this whole dysfunctional friend group minus Wanda actually, shes just a saint, hallelujah! But you’re all like my unruly little kids, and I need you to get your shit together before I move halfway across the country. Otherwise, I’m gonna feel guilty as hell.”
Steve snorted, but there was a faint glimmer of a smile at the corner of his lips. “We’re not your kids, Sam.”
“Oh, really?” Sam raised an eyebrow, sitting up straighter. “Who’s the one everyone comes crying to when things go south? Who’s the one playing mediator when y’all start tearing each other apart? Me. I’m the glue holding this chaos together, Rogers.”
Steve let out a soft laugh despite himself, shaking his head. “I didn’t realize we put you through so much, Dad.”
“Damn right,” Sam said with a mock scowl. “You’re lucky I’m so patient. Now, can we please work on fixing this mess before I have to catch a plane? I’ve got enough to worry about without you and Natasha staring at each other from across the room like you’re in a sad indie film.”
Steve sighed, leaning back into the couch and swirling his beer. “I’ll figure it out, Sam.”
Sam gave him a look. “You better. ‘Cause I’m not above locking you and everyone in a room together and waiting it out.”
Steve laughed quietly, shaking his head. “You’re relentless.”
“And you love me for it,” Sam quipped, standing up and clinking his beer against Steve’s. “Now, get your ass in gear, Rogers. Fix it with the fam. And maybe don’t confess your love to someone who’s already taken next time.”
Steve winced, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, message received.”
Sam smirked. “Good. Now, can we chill for the rest of the night? Or do I have to keep playing therapist?”
Steve chuckled, clinking his beer against Sam’s again. “No more therapy sessions tonight.”
Sam grinned. “That’s what I thought. Now pass me the pretzels.”
Natasha slammed the door behind her, the sharp sound echoing through the apartment. She tossed her bag onto the floor and leaned back against the doorframe, her hands gripping the strap of her jacket like a lifeline. Her jaw was tight, and her eyes were red, like she was holding back the last thread of control she had.
Wanda poked her head out from the kitchen, her wooden spoon mid-stir in a pot of something fragrant. Her brows furrowed at Natasha’s expression. “Woah, what happened? You look like you’ve just walked out of a war zone.”
Natasha let out a bitter laugh, kicking her shoes off aggressively and heading toward the couch. “Might as well have.”
“Okay, uh is this serious?” Wanda abandoned her cooking, setting the spoon down and following Natasha into the living room. She perched on the arm of the couch as Natasha sank into it, her hands immediately rubbing at her temples. “Spill.”
Natasha exhaled sharply, her voice biting. “I snapped at Y/N.”
Wanda blinked, tilting her head. “About what?”
“About Bucky. About Steve. About everything.” Natasha waved a hand, her frustration clear. “She came to me asking for advice on Bucky. Apparently, he lied to her about going out for drinks with Sam, and she just wanted to talk it through. But instead of helping her, I completely lost it.”
Wanda’s face softened with understanding. “What did you say?”
Natasha hesitated, guilt flickering across her face. “I told her she was overthinking it. Being dramatic like always. And then… I told her I needed space.”
Wanda’s mouth fell open slightly, but Natasha wasn’t done.
“And then,” Natasha continued, her voice tightening with self-loathing, “I told her I didn’t understand why Steve was in love with her and not… not me, told her she wasn’t anything special.”
“Oh my god, Natasha…,” Wanda murmured, her tone gentle but disappointed.
“I know, i know…” Natasha said quickly, her voice cracking. “I know how shitty it was. But I couldn’t stop myself. She’s so… happy right now. With Bucky, finally. And I’m standing here, watching her and then watching Steve fall apart while I’m—” She broke off, running her hands through her hair. “I’m stuck. Just stuck.”
Wanda leaned forward, trying to catch Natasha’s gaze. “You’re not stuck, Nat. You’re hurting. But you’ve got to stop projecting that onto her.”
Natasha scoffed bitterly. “She said all she wanted was advice. Advice on Bucky, of all people. And I couldn’t even give her that without making it about me.”
Wanda’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Because it is about you, Nat. Not her. You’re angry with Steve for not seeing you the way you want him to. You’re angry with yourself for not saying anything sooner. And yeah, maybe you’re a little angry that she’s happy with Bucky while you’re feeling invisible. But you can’t blame her for any of that.”
Natasha’s eyes filled with unshed tears. “I know, I know, but it feels so unfair, Wanda. Why am I always the one standing on the sidelines? Why does it always feel like I’m waiting for something that’s never going to happen?”
Wanda sighed, sliding off the armrest and sitting next to Natasha. She placed a comforting hand on her friend’s knee. “Nat, you’ve spent so much time watching from the sidelines that you’ve convinced yourself you belong there. But you don’t. You deserve to be in the center of someone’s world, just like she is to Bucky.”
“And what if that someone is Steve?” Natasha whispered, her voice trembling.
Wanda hesitated, her heart aching for her friend. “Then you need to figure out if it’s worth the risk. But Nat… if you want Steve to see you, you have to give him the chance. You can’t keep hiding how you feel.”
Natasha wiped at her eyes angrily. “What if it’s too late? What if he’s too far gone on Y/N?”
Wanda gave her a sad smile. “Steve’s not too far gone, but before anything can happen, he needs to work through his feelings for her. And you… you need to figure out what you really want.”
Natasha nodded slowly, her voice barely audible. “I just don’t want to lose her, Wanda. Or Steve. Or any of you.”
“You won’t,” Wanda assured her. “We’re too close for that. But you’ve got to be honest—with her, with Steve, and most importantly, with yourself.”
Natasha leaned back against the couch, letting out a shuddering breath. “I’ll talk to her. Just… not tonight.”
“Not tonight,” Wanda agreed. She stood, patting Natasha on the shoulder. “Come on, babe. I’ve got pasta in the kitchen. Food always helps.”
Natasha let out a weak laugh, nodding. “Yeah. Pasta sounds good.”
The cabin looked exactly as you remembered it, nestled in the woods with its rustic charm intact. The wooden exterior was weathered but sturdy, and the scent of pine trees and earth filled the crisp air.
Bucky had insisted on carrying your bags, his easy smile making it impossible to argue. Now, as he unlocked the door and pushed it open, you were flooded with memories of your childhood and the countless weekends spent here with the group.
"Home sweet home," Bucky said softly, stepping aside to let you in.
The inside was just as cozy as you remembered - worn furniture, a stone fireplace, and the faint scent of cedar lingering in the air. A fire was already crackling in the hearth, casting a warm, flickering glow across the room.
"You did all this?" you asked, turning to him.
Bucky shrugged, a boyish grin tugging at his lips.
"Figured it'd be nice to have it ready for you."
Your heart swelled as you dropped your coat onto the couch, taking in the space. It felt so intimate now, just the two of you surrounded by memories and the quiet of the woods.
"Bucky," you started, your voice soft, "this is perfect."
His eyes softened, and he reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "You deserve perfect."
After getting all settled, which didnt take long thanks to Bucky already doing everything, the two of you sat by the fire, a bottle of wine on the table between you and an easy warmth filling the room. You couldn't stop smiling, leaning against Bucky's shoulder as you talked about everything and nothing.
"Remember the time Steve got stuck on the roof because Nat dared him to climb up there?" Bucky said, laughing as he rubbed small circles on your shoulder.
You giggled, the memory vivid. "And you were the one who had to help him down. He wouldn't stop screaming about how he was gonna die."
Bucky tilted his head back, laughing. "It was his own fault for taking the dare. Dumb ass."
The sound of his laughter filled the cabin, and you couldn't help but stare at him. His eyes crinkled at the corners, his head tilted slightly, and his hand stayed firmly on you, grounding you in the moment.
"Hey," Bucky said, noticing your gaze. "What's going on in that pretty head of yours?"
You bit your lip, a flush creeping up your cheeks.
"Just... how happy I am. I didn't think I would have something like this, especially with you it feels surreal."
Bucky's expression softened, his thumb brushing against your cheek. "You and me both, I'm scared I'm going to wake up one day and not have you like this... but loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done."
Before you could respond, he stood and walked to the fireplace, picking up a small leather-bound book from the mantel. He turned it over in his hands, his fingers tracing the edges as if gathering the courage to part with it.
“What’s that?” you asked, tilting your head, curiosity softening your voice.
Bucky’s gaze flicked to yours, hesitant but filled with something deeper—hope, love, fear. He walked back, sitting down beside you and holding the book out. “It’s for you.”
Your brow furrowed as you reached for it, your fingers brushing against the worn leather. It felt warm from his hands, and across the front, your name was scrawled in his familiar, messy handwriting.
“It’s… letters,” he began, his voice quiet, almost uncertain. “Letters, things, random thoughts or things i just wanted to say to you but never did because I was a coward.”
Your breath caught as you opened the book, the creak of the spine breaking the silence between you. The first page was dated years ago, the ink slightly faded but unmistakably his handwriting.
You began to read aloud:
“Y/N,
Today, I saw you laugh at something Steve said, and it hit me how much I love that sound. I know I'm only 17 but I’d do anything to hear it every day for the rest of my life.”
Your voice broke on the last word, your eyes already filling with tears. You looked up at him, stunned, but he just gave you a small, nervous smile.
You flipped to another random page.
“Y/N,
I wanted to tell you how beautiful you looked tonight, but the words caught in my throat. I wish I was braver, wish I could just say it, but what if it changes everything? What if I lose you? I can't lose you.”
Tears spilled freely now as you flipped through the pages, each one a snapshot of Bucky’s heart. The dates led all the way back to your teenage years, to the very beginning of your friendship.
“Bucky,” you whispered, your voice trembling as the weight of his words settled over you. “This is….”
He hesitated, his eyes searching yours. “Is it too much?” he asked softly, his vulnerability laid bare.
You shook your head, setting the book down gently before throwing your arms around his neck, burying your face in his shoulder. "No, its everything... its perfect. You're perfect."
His hands settled on your waist, holding you tightly as if afraid you might slip away.
"You've always been everything to me," he murmured against your hair, the words barely audible.
The air shifted, charged with emotion and years of longing finally laid bare. When you pulled back to look at him, his eyes met yours, and for a moment, the world fell away. Slowly, deliberately, you leaned in, and your lips met his.
The kiss was slow at first, tentative, as if testing the boundaries of this newfound vulnerability. But it quickly deepened, the years of pent-up emotion pouring out with every touch, every movement.
His hands slipped under your sweater, his calloused palms warm against your skin. The contact made you gasp, and he used the opportunity to pull you closer, his grip firm but careful, as though you were something precious.
"God, I love you," he murmured against your lips, his voice rough with need and emotion.
Your heart swelled, and vou whispered back, "I love you too."
His forehead rested against yours as his breathing mingled with yours. His eyes searched yours, filled with unspoken questions and promises. "Are you sure?" he asked, his voice low, almost trembling.
"I've never been more sure of anything," you said, your voice steady despite the pounding of your heart.
He smiled then, a soft, genuine smile that made you fall all over again. He kissed you deeply, his hands traveling up your back with a reverence that made your entire body hum.
As he laid you back gently against the couch, his lips never leaving yours, the world outside ceased to exist. His touch was both careful and consuming, his hands exploring every inch of your skin as if committing you to memory. Each touch felt like a declaration, a promise.
"You're everything to me," he whispered, his lips brushing the curve of your jaw. "I want to give you the world."
"You already have," you breathed, your fingers tangling in his hair as he kissed his way down your neck.
When his fingertips trailed down the slope of your breast, a jolt of sensation arced through your body, making your breath catch in the back of your throat. Every nerve ending seemed to come alive at once, and your pulse quickened, pounding a wild rhythm that made your head spin. The featherlight touch sent shivers skittering up your spine, each one a thousand points of sensation that made every inch of you ache with hunger.
His mouth found the peak of one breast, his lips closing around it in a slow, languid kiss. You gasped at the wet heat of his tongue, at the way his lips pulled gently at the sensitive flesh. Your body arched into him instinctively, craving more, demanding it with a want so overwhelming that it eclipsed everything else.
“Bucky,” you gasped, his name tumbling from your lips like a plea. Your hands clutched at his hair, guiding him back up to your mouth where you could devour him in a kiss.
He moved with you, letting you pull him closer, urging you to take what you needed. When he rolled you onto your back, his body settling between your legs, you felt his hardness press against you. You wanted to feel him—his bare skin sliding against yours, the heat of him sinking into your core—but you also didn’t want to let go of the kiss, didn't want this moment of connection to be severed.
He seemed to read your mind because his lips never left yours as he guided your hands down his body. He let you unbutton his jeans, and the sound of his zipper coming undone sent another rush of heat through you. When your fingers found his length, a low groan tore from his throat, vibrating against your lips.
“I want you,” you whispered, the words almost lost in the wetness of the kiss.
His response was immediate—a low growl that bordered on a whimper. “Oh, God, I’ve been waiting so long for this, for you sweetheart” he muttered, his hand slipping between your legs. “You’re so wet for me.”
His words were like fuel to the fire, sparking a hunger so deep and primal within you that it hurt. You pushed against his touch, seeking friction, seeking anything that would give you the release you craved. He understood, his fingers stroking you with a careful precision that made your entire body clench.
You moaned, the word breathless with need. Your hips arched up, moving in tandem with his strokes. The pressure built, like something coiling within you, waiting to burst.
He gave you more, sliding a finger into you, then two, curling them deep as though searching for a sweet spot that would unravel you completely. You gasped when he found it, his gentle strokes hitting it over and over until you were trembling beneath him.
“Bucky, I—” The words died on your lips when he slid a third finger inside you. The sensation was almost overwhelming, his touch, his kiss, the need burning through you, all mixing together until it was impossible to focus on anything but him.
The world tilted, your body shuddering with a wave of sensation, and then you were flying, soaring above everything else as your release hit you like a tidal wave. Your head tipped back, mouth opening on a silent cry, the feeling almost too intense to bear. Every nerve ending in your body seemed to crackle with electricity, the pleasure like a thousand bolts of lightning exploding within you.
When you came back down from the high of your orgasm, Bucky was kissing your neck, his breath warm against your skin. He looked up at you, his blue eyes shining with a softness you’d never seen before, and the sight made your chest hurt.
“I love you,” he whispered, his voice low and rough with emotion. “Always. Forever.”
Your fingers threaded through his hair, pulling him into another kiss. “I love you too,” you murmured against his lips. “So much Buck”
He smiled at you, and there was so much affection and adoration in his eyes that it threatened to overwhelm you all over again.
You reached for him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, holding him close as he settled between your thighs. He slid into you slowly, filling you, stretching you until you were full with the length of him. It wasn’t enough, though. You needed more—needed his breath to mingle with yours, needed his skin to be flush against yours.
When he pulled out, you whimpered in protest, but he just smiled down at you, a gentle smile that made your heart swell with emotion. He grasped your hips, pulling you into a sitting position as he settled onto his back. The movement brought him deeper within you, and the sensation was so overwhelming that you had to catch your breath.
“I want you on me,” Bucky whispered, his eyes holding yours as he lifted you, helping you find a rhythm that left you both breathless. “I want to see you.”
You started to move “Baby,” Bucky moaned, his eyes locked onto your body moving above him. “Oh, fuck.”
The words were guttural, filled with so much emotion that it threatened to overwhelm everything else. You could feel him throbbing within you, his length swelling, stretching you further than you thought possible. The feeling was almost too much to handle, yet at the same time, it wasn’t enough.
“Harder,” you gasped, your voice barely audible over your own heartbeat pounding in your ears. Your fingers found Bucky’s, linking with them as his hips began to move faster beneath yours. “Deeper. Please.”
He groaned at your words, the sound dark and edged with desperation. “I’m close,” he warned, but you could tell he wanted to wait, wanted to ensure you reached your orgasm first.
You leaned down, pressing your lips to his ear. “Come with me,” you urged, your words a soft whisper that turned into a moan when he hit your sweet spot again. The feeling was so intense you felt yourself begin to unravel, pleasure flooding you until it seemed to spill over.
“Yes,” Bucky muttered, the word a dark growl, his hips bucking up hard as his length thickened, pulsing with an imminent release. “Oh, fuck..”
Your body tensed at the same time as his, the pleasure cresting until it seemed impossible to hold back the orgasm any longer. It hit you like a wave, pulling you under with such force that you were powerless to do anything but let it consume you.
Bucky’s mouth found yours, muffling your cries of pleasure as he began to come. You could feel him throbbing within you, warm heat spilling into you, filling you until the sensation was almost too overwhelming to bear.
Time seemed to stretch and compress all at once, the only sound was your ragged breathing, and his quiet grunts of pleasure as his body emptied into yours. Your heart pounded against your ribcage, making your lungs feel tight with the sheer force of the feeling.
Finally, your high began to ebb, leaving you both breathless and boneless, bodies trembling as though the pleasure had taken every ounce of strength you possessed. Bucky’s arms found their way around you, holding you close as though trying to absorb you into himself. When you looked up, his eyes were gazing back at you, filled with an emotion that stole whatever breath you had left in your lungs.
“I love you,” you whispered, your voice a soft sound that seemed lost amidst the pounding of your heartbeat.
His smile was slow to form, but when it did, it lit up his whole face. His lips brushed over yours, the kiss warm and lingering. “Mine.”
“Yours.” You pressed one last kiss to his mouth, your lips lingering on the word.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#sebastian stan x reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes angst#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes x reader angst#bucky fanfic#james bucky buchanan barnes#james barnes x you#bucky barnes au
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The Masked Ballerina
Mafia!Yunho x ballerina!reader
angst, light fluff 6k
TW: mentions of fighting, abuse, violence, swearing, weapons. As usual, please let me know if I missed something.
Please read at your own discretion.
Where Yunho's search for excitement leads him to the Ballet.
AN: Heavily inspired by the Ice On My Teeth MV. In my mind this exists in the same universe as my Mafia!Hongjoong fic. The chess lore goes hard in this one. Enjoy lovelies 🤍
Also in case anyone cares, the song reader dances to is Masquerade Suite: Maskarad at about 1:18 is when Yunho starts tapping and 1:23 is when he sees their face
MASTERLIST
It’s very rare that Yunho goes out alone. Normally he travels with his guards, a new rule put in place after the Wooyoung incident. He understands its another layer of protection in case someone decides to get a little too close. especially if one of their enemies decides to put a hit out on him. Which of course has happened more times than he can count, but his guards don’t let anyone get within talking distance. It's always kind of fun to him. Watching some dumb soldier try to charge at him. Part of Yunho wishes his guards would just let them through. That way he could have a little fun. Just the thought makes his hands twitch. God is he aching for a good fight. But he knows that would never happen. They would never allow it. It’s their sole duty to protect him. One of their eight bosses who are far too precious to lose.
Yunho sighs at the thought. His breath coming out in front of him in the cold night air. He knows it's silly to want to get into a bit of trouble. With the power he holds he should be excited at the people who bow before him. But he can't help but want something more. A change of pace. Like tonight and his new habit of sneaking out once he knows the others are busy or sleeping. It started on a whim, his restlessness driving him over the edge. It was normally pretty bad, but this night he swore if he didn’t do something he would go insane. He found himself creeping down the hallway, waiting for just the right moment when he knew the guards would step away before making a dash to the street. He spent the next few hours wandering the city. The solitude was refreshing, not having anyone hovering over him. While it gave him a little rush the first few weeks , the thrill has already started to fade. His little nights out becoming something too close to a routine.
He’s done his best to spice it up a bit, trying to find different routes. But with legs as long as his, there’s only so much he can do before he’s seen it all. The more he dwells on it, the worse he starts to feel. He tugs the hood of his sweater farther over his head, huffing in annoyance. With his mood slowly souring, he thinks it’s best to run back home. He finds himself turning towards the dark alley. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that he gravitates towards the shadows. He’s always been his skill, hiding in the shadows until he strikes. Of course nowadays he’s more of a boss, giving people his orders. And while it’s nice, can anyone really blame him for missing the action? I mean he’d even be happy to even do a simple hit. Give him a rookie task, hell he’ll take anything at this point. He realizes he sounds a bit like an addict. But God would it kill to have just a bit of excitement in his life?
He turns to walk into the alley. He's so distracted he doesn't pay attention to the figure hiding in the shadows.
“Hold it.” a voice calls out.
He’s pinned swiftly against a wall. A small breath knocked out of him, as he stumbles into it.
Yunho looks down to see a gun pointed at his chest. He’s so caught off guard it takes him a second to register what he’s looking at. His eyes trail up the arm holding the gun, finding a masked figure in front of him. At Least a head shorter than him and clearly in way over their head.
He looks up at the sky, a baffled smile finding its way onto his face.
This isn’t what I meant.
If Yunho didn’t know any better he’d think he’s in a comedy movie. One where he’s the bud of all the jokes.
“I wouldn’t be laughing if I were you,”
Ah yes the tiny thief.
Yunho looks back down, the person digging the gun into his chest. He only blinks in response.
“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” they snap, “Just give me your money and no one has to get hurt.”
Yunho grabs the hand holding the gun, nudging it out of the way.
“I don’t have any money. Now if you’ll excuse me-” he starts to say, but is swiftly cut off.
“What? Are you stupid, I said-”
Yunho rolls his eyes, any other night he’d probably entertain the idea of a brawl. But tonight he’s tired and just wants to be back home. This person clearly either doesn’t know what they’re getting themselves into. He supposes it’s the plain clothes he chose to wear out that make him somewhat unrecognizable. That and the fact that he doesn’t have his usual entourage hanging around him.
Before they can get another word out he grips their arm, raising the gun up to the sky. He tugs the thief towards him, forcing them to stumble into his chest. They gasp in shock, grip loosening on the gun with the movement. Yunho pulls it away with ease, disarming it and dropping the remaining bullet in a single breath.
“What the fuck,” the masked figure says, clearly bewildered.
They look up, staring wide eyed up at him. It’s only then that Yunho takes notice of their eyes. One a normal color. And the other a stark contrast. Gray in color, mirroring the dark clouds above the pair. The snow continues to fall around the two, silence filling the air. It's in this brief moment that he’s able to really look at them. In the small window of the ski mask he sees the bruises around their eye, the skin clearly swollen and discolored with a black eye. It's easy enough to guess that a person must have given it to them, he’s seen enough beatings to know. As bad as he feels, he doesn’t have the energy for this.
“Look. It’s been a long day. I’m tired,” he starts softly.
Yunho calmly lowers their arm, dropping the gun into their open palm. He takes a step backwards, de-escalating the situation.
“I’m just trying to go home,”
The thief looks down at the gun in their hand briefly. They glance back up at him, eyes now teary.
Yunho gives them a tight lipped smile, gently letting them go. He walks past them, the thief, turns only able to watch in shocked silence. Yunho only makes it a few steps away before he feels the need to stop. He can’t explain it, but there’s a nagging tug he feels in his mind.
He turns to face the thief, who stands there silently, still watching him. They somehow look smaller like this, vulnerable, defeated. He thinks back to the bruising he saw underneath the mask. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know something is more is going on than just a petty crime.
“For what it’s worth, I hope whatever it is you’re going through gets better,” he says sincerely.
Despite the actions of the masked figure, he understands what it’s like. Desperation is an old friend of his. A friend that led him down an uncertain path, that thankfully ended in his favor. But he knows it isn't that way for everyone. He gives them one last smile, hoping it conveys more than what his words would.
“Have a good night”.
With that he turns around continuing to walk down the alley. The thief continues to watch him go, watching him disappear into the cold night.
Yunho’s walks don’t last another week. He’d been able to squeeze in two more days of walking before he’d given up. Far too bored. The short-lived adventure was nice while it lasted. But again he finds himself looking for something else, something outside of his normal routine.
That's how he finds himself squished into a small seat, front row to a ballet Jongho had been begging to see. Something very common for their household. He’d only tagged along because Seonghwa had to miss it, a last minute meeting with Hongjoong and another group.
And while this isn’t his usual thing, he will admit the show is quite good. To his right, San is clearly not as impressed, He’s only become more restless as the first hour passed by. Now practically squirming in his seat. He leans forward in his seat, glancing around at the others.
“Do we have to sit through this whole thing?” San asks, doing a poor job at whispering.
“Shhh,” Jongho says from his left side.
“Is it at least almost over?” he prods.
“Shhh!” Jongho shushes, louder than the first time.
“But it's boring,” he says, having given up on whispering all together.
Jongho leans forward in his own seat, shooting daggers at San.
“It’s not boring, you just don’t know how to appreciate art,” he snaps. He gives one last glare before turning his attention back to the stage. Mingi snickers from his seat on San’s right.
San pouts, sulking back into his seat. Yunho can’t help but smile at the exchange. He nudges his shoulder, leaning closer to him.
“Lighten up, it’s not that bad. I’m sure you can find some part of it to enjoy,” Yunho whispers. Mingi grins leaning over as well.
“The dancers are quite pretty," he says, nodding towards the stage.
Yunho rolls his eyes as San perks up at the mention of the dancers. It’s like he’s just noticed their existence after the past hour.
“Not what I meant, but to each their own I guess,” he chuckles quietly.
San pays him no mind. Now hyper focused on the performance, or performers, in front of him.
Yunho watches the dancers, enjoying how easily their movements flow with the music. He recalls the dream his teenage self had of dancing. He was quite good at it too. He even had a scholarship waiting for him, hell he’d all been packing to leave for school. But alas life doesn’t turn out the way it does in movies, now does it?
A series of hiccups and stumbling led him to where he is now. One eighth of the biggest family in the country. A rook in a set so carefully crafted, that nothing could stand in its way. Never in his life did he think he’d end up here. But when he glances on either side of him, seeing his brothers makes him think that there was nowhere else he’d rather be.
Despite the performance in front of him, he finds his mind wandering, still longing for something new. Anything really. He knows he sounds ungrateful, bratty even. But goddamn would it be nice for a sliver of excitement.
Fate is funny with her timing as per usual. Clearly having enough of Yunho’s whining she’s intending to smack Yunho right in the face with his desires.
At that moment the dancers step forward right to the edge of the stage. Bodies dipping into a bow with the sway of the music. The costumes glint with the stage lights, drawing Yunho’s attention back to the present.
Yunho ignores the low whistles undoubtedly from San and MIngi. He does his best to refocus on the performance. He taps his fingers along to the music, counting the beats of the dance in his head.
It truly is comical the way the way the music builds, unknowingly leading Yunho to his fate.
The dancers look up at the next beat and Yunho comes face to face with the person in front of him. A ballerina with an eye color that wouldn’t shock anyone, if it weren’t for the other resembling dark storm clouds in the sky. A set of eyes that he’s only seen once, but he could never forget. Yunho feels his heart skip a beat, a small smile tugging at his lips at the memory.
Now this is exciting.
Yunho also takes notice that the bruising is nowhere in sight. Aside for some light swelling, it’s practically invisible. He presumes it’s whatever makeup and other styling that’s required for the show. The dancer takes no notice of Yunho, clearly engulfed in the performance. In three beats the dancer is off, prancing to the other end of the stage. Yunho’s eyes now glued to them. A moth to a flame, a spark.
Yunho continues to watch, taking notice of the way they glide. As if they were a wind up toy, made only to dance across the stage. The costume only adds to the image. While Yunho knows each costume is made to fit like a glove for every performer, this one is different. For this ballerina it doesn’t appear to be made, but to simply be a part of them. Everything about the way they bring the performance to life looks so effortless. This clearly suits them, in his opinion.
The performance ends in a flourish, the audience erupting into a deafening applause. The dancers gather on stage, taking their final bows. Yunho glances on either side of him. Jongho no doubt will stop the conductor and offer his appreciation. San and MIngi both speak in hushed whispers, already planning their approach with whatever dancer that's caught their eye. But Yunho only has eyes for one dancer. He easily slips away from the others, off to meet his masked ballerina.
“That bastard, that’s what he did to you?” Minji asks, turning your face in her hands gently.
When you’d removed your makeup she’d all but elbowed her way through the others leaving for the night. She’d all but dragged you into her own dressing room, a murderous look in her eye as she scanned your face. After a bit of fussing, you reluctantly tell her about your interaction with your director. How after a bit of back and forth he’d swung his fist, leaving you with a swollen eye. if looks could kill, you’d swear Mr.Hak would be dead if he were in the room with the way Minji glares. You’d done your best to hide it from her, knowing she’d react this way.
You grab her hands, pulling them away from you.
“I’ll be fine, it’s nothing a little makeup can’t fix,” you say calmly.
She makes a face immediately, a lecture forming on the tip of her tongue.
“I know what you’re going to say. But you know I can’t leave. Not yet at least.
“I know. But that doesn’t mean you let him do this to you either y/n,” she says bitterly.
“It was my fault, I kept pushing it and-” you don’t get to finish, Minji cutting you off.
“Like hell it was! I don’t give a fuck how long he’s been in charge, Hak has no right to be doing this to anyone,” she fumed, face growing red with each word.
"Minji. I promise I’m okay,” You say soothingly. She sighs, taking a few calming breaths.
“At Least let me give you something. I don’t have much, but hopefully the money will help you out,” she says, starting to walk towards her bag. You grimace, the thought of taking from her when she’s struggling just as much as you makes you feel sick.
“You will do no such thing,” you say. You walk over to her, stopping her from looking through it.
“But-”
“I’ll find a way to make it work. You know I always do,” you say, giving her a small smile. Minji contemplates, before giving in.
“Fine, but please tell me if you need help. And I don’t care who he thinks he is, you say the word and I’ll kick his ass myself,” She says.
That gets you to laugh, rolling your eyes.
When you first started, you'd learned rather quickly that Minji was hot-headed. Fierce in a way that you weren’t. You think perhaps that is why she befriended you so quickly, sensing you’d need a backbone of a friend. Minji was like an older sister. Someone who wanted the best for you, even if her way of showing it could be a little over the top. But you loved her regardless.
“Thank you Minji, really,” you say, pulling her into a hug. She hugs you back, holding you close.
“Okay, well I’m heading out hun,” she says, letting you go. She slings her bag over her shoulder.
“Get home safe,” you say, opening the door for her. She flips the lights off, leading you back out into the hallway.
“You too. Don't stay here too long,” she says, giving you a pointed look.
“I won't,” you say.
You walk her until you reach the door to your dressing room. She stops, turning to give you one final hug. With one last squeeze, you let her go. She gives you a final wave, before turning and leaving.
When she’s out of sight, you sigh, shoulders dropping. You’re quiet as you open the door to your dressing room. You flick on one of the smaller switches, the lights of your vanity illuminating the room.
You walk over, dropping yourself into the seat unceremoniously. You glance at yourself in the mirror, looking over the black eye for what feels like the hundredth time. The memory of that night, playing in your head like a loop. When you’d first graduated from your arts program you’d been so excited to start your career. It had been hell to make it through. Your heterochromia made it a nightmare to be a dancer. Every audition and casting left you feeling defeated. Each director or choreographer turning you away due to your condition. You’d had to claw your way to performing on a stage, fighting tooth and nail to just be given a chance. It was exhausting but it was worth it. Or at least you thought it was.
Now as you stare at yourself in the mirror, the version that stares back at you is almost unrecognizable. How could you have ended up here? This couldn’t possibly be what life had in store for you, could it? Suffering for the sake of doing what you love? You could already see the way this vicious cycle was eating away at you. Cracking your soul into pieces bit by bit. You needed to get out. But only a miracle could save you at this point.
You shake your head, doing your best to shake the thoughts with it. You lean down, tugging the shoes off your feet, and the tights along with them. You groan as you sit back up, muscles still sore from the performance. With a small grunt, you take the last bit of your outfit off, throwing the top to one of the chairs across the room. This late in the night you know you’re one of the only people left in the building, leaving no reason for you to rush to get dressed. You pull your robe down from the corner of the vanity, sliding it onto your shoulders.
“That was a lovely performance,” a voice calls out, making you jump out of your skin.
You whip around clutching your robe closed as tightly as possible.
A figure emerges from the shadows slowly, coming to stand a few feet in front of you.
In the dimly lit room, you can make out the features of a man. He easily towers over you, dressed in all black like a shadow come to life.
You recognize him as one of the men you tried to rob a few nights back. It takes you a second, with his appearance being a stark contrast to the man who stumbled upon you in the alleyway. Here he looks put together, black suit, hair pushed back, and expensive watch gleaming on his wrist. It's then you take notice of the insignia on his coat. The A against his heart is simple. A circle surrounding it, stitched in a darker shade of black. But the sight still makes your blood run cold.
Holy shit, you’d tried to rob a member of Ateez, the most powerful family in the country. As if your luck couldn’t get any worse. Part of you wants to laugh at the entire situation, but the fear you feel keeps you rooted in place, scrambling for any escape.
“I didn’t think ballerinas were the type for armed robbery,” he hums thoughtfully.
You subtly shift your hand to the side of your chair, fingers trembling as you reach under the armrest.
“This is a private dressing room, you need to leave,” you say, doing your best to appear calm.
The man hums, reaching into his pocket. He pulls his hand out, holding it in front of him.
“Looking for this?” he asks.
Your heart sinks at the sight of your knife in his hand. He twirls it with ease, flicking it open to insect the blade. You press your hands into your thighs, swallowing nervously.
“Please, I’m sorry. I don’t want any trouble,” your voice trembles as you stare up at him. He turns his attention back to you, taking in your fearful demeanor.
He smiles, making a show of closing the knife slowly. He carefully sets the knife down on the shelf beside him, being slow in his movements. You eye it suspiciously, glancing between him and the knife.
“Don’t worry I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to talk,” he says calmly.
You nod slowly, still eyeing him warily. He nods back, still keeping his distance.
“Do you know who I am?” he asks.
Of course you know. Everyone in the country knows his name along with the other seven. The rook who stands in front of you is not to be messed with.
“Jeong Yunho,” you answer.
The way you say his name sends a bit of a thrill through him. He likes the ways it rolls off your lips.
“Hmm so you do know my name,” he says tilting his head to the side.
You can only give him a small nod. He begins to walk around the room examining the interior as he goes. You can’t help but keep your eyes trained on him. While he promised not to hurt you, you’d be stupid not to be on guard.
“Did you know who I was the other night?” he prods.
“No,” you answer quickly. You were desperate, but not desperate enough to mess with him. You curse your past self for being so oblivious. He chuckles, the sounds sending a shiver down your spine.
“It takes guts to step to a man twice your size like that,” he says, recalling your stupidity. He turns his sharp gaze towards you, further pinning you to your spot.
“But considering I can see the way you're shaking, I think there’s something else,” he says.
“What were you looking for when you came at me?”
“Nothing, I- I wasn’t looking for anything I swear,” you say a little too quickly.
Yunho glances at your swollen eye, letting out a sigh. He knows you’re lying, but he can’t blame you. There was no doubt he was a man to be feared, but right now he needed you to trust him.
“Look. I can tell you’re smart. So I know you wouldn’t have just decided to mug a stranger for fun,” he says, coming to stand in front of you once again.
“So what is it that you need, sweetheart?” He says softly.
You contemplate answering him. If he were here to hurt you, he would have done it already. He clearly wasn’t the type of man to waste his time. Despite your better judgement you choose to trust him.
“Money. I needed money,” you say quietly.
He tilts his head thoughtfully. The movement kind of reminds you of a puppy. If you weren’t partly terrified, you’d think it looks kinda cute in a way.
“You don't make enough, dancing?” he asks curiously.
“No, not really,” you say, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over you.
“And the black eye, is that part of it?”
You freeze, looking at him in fear. Instinctively you wrap your arms around the edges of your robe, tucking it tightly against you. He notices the way you curl in on yourself. His gaze softens, offering you a sympathetic smile.
“I’m not here to judge you,” he says softly.
“They’re from the director,” you confess, quietly. He nods in understanding. He hesitates clearly wanting to say more. After a moment he clears his throat.
“May I?” he asks, nodding towards your face.
You think for a moment, before giving him a small nod.
He’s careful as he steps forward, doing his best not to startle you. He leans down, one hand coming to lean against the back of your chair. You feel goosebumps rise against your skin, as he lowers himself to be eye level with you. His other grabs your face gently, tilting your face from one side to the other. He’s delicate with the way he handles you. Strong hand gentle as he holds your chin with his fingers.
“He did this to you?” He asks finally, warm voice fanning across your face.
“Yes,” you answer, scared to speak too loudly. You feel your skin grow warm the longer he scans over your face. His cologne invades your sense with the proximity, it feels intoxicating in a way you can’t describe.
His face hardens, a look of anger flashing across his features. It scares you for a moment. But something about the look makes you want to soothe him.
“I asked for more after our last performance. He usually never aims for the face. I just wouldn’t drop it,” you explain, thinking back to a few nights ago.
Yunho is quiet, eyes scanning over the marks carefully. A fierce need to protect you burning inside him. He can’t explain it, but there’s something drawing him to you.There’s something about you he just can’t shake. A pull so strong, he doesn’t think he could fight it if he tried. Though he doesn’t think he’d want to anyways. He also takes the time to really look at you, finding you even more attractive up close. He’s already seen your eyes, but seeing them up close and personal, he can’t help but find them more alluring. After another moment of admiring you, he lets your face go, still keeping his proximity.
“Is it just you? Or are there others?” he asks.
“A few. Most of them quit before the first season is up. But some of us can’t,” you answer.
He only nods, clearly thinking something over. The gears turn in his head quickly, looking for a solution to your problems. After a moment, you see a twinkle appear in his eye. A mischievous twinkle that excites you, if you're honest with yourself.
“What’s your name?” he asks, breaking the silence.
“Y/n,” you say softly.
“Y/n”, he repeats.
The way your name drips from his lips, sends a jolt through you.
“Will you let me help you, Sweetheart?” he asks.
You don’t know what it is about him, but you find yourself trusting him. How crazy it is to trust a man like him. He could hurt you, with a snap of his fingers you’d be destroyed in an instant. But he could also be your miracle. You suppose you have nothing more to lose at this point.
You give him another nod, this one determined.
“Good,”
“Come with me,” he says, offering his hand out to you.
Going against every rational part of your brain, you take it. His hand is warm in yours. Something about it feels right, his larger hand holding yours ever so gently. Yunho thinks the same as he looks down at you. He’s so used to holding weapons, things that cause pain. But your hand fits so perfectly in his. Like it’s natural, like it was made to be there. He gently pulls you up from your seat, ready to take his new found excitement into action.
“Come in,” a voice barks out from the door in front of you.
You grimace, glancing at the men behind you. Yunho stands with three of the other members of Ateez, who you were introduced to. After getting dressed, Yunho led you to the others, who all looked at you with curious gazes. From there he had explained his crazy plan to all of you. Or at least you thought it was crazy. The other three didn’t even bat an eye. Jongho even looked excited, beaming at the plan laid before him.
Yunho looks down at you as you give him a small nod to enter. You open the door, walking inside. The other three follow you in. Mr Hak, your company director doesn’t bother looking up. He continues going through the work in front of him, only pausing to take another drag of his cigarette. The door clicks shut behind the last member.
“Who is it?” he barks out again.
“It’s y/n, sir,” you say, eyeing the men behind you again.
Your boss scoffs, rolling his eyes at the sound of your voice.
“This shit again. Look I already told you, you work for me got that? Everything you make comes to me. I own you. Now get out of my office before I-” he starts, voice booming in the small office.
He finally looks up, mid rant, doing a double take at the scene before him. His face goes pale at the sight of you and the four men that tower behind you. You don’t blame him. The sight of them had you shaking where you stood.
“Gentlemen, what a surprise. To-” he pauses, having enough sense to extinguish the cigarette.
He stumbles out of his chair, hastily coming to the front of his desk. He clears his throat as he does it, clumsily dropping into a deep bow.
“To what do I owe this pleasure?” he asks nervously.
They take over easily, polite smiles on their faces.
“Mr Hak, is it?” Yunho starts, eyeing the man before him.
“We just wanted to stop by. And bring our praises for the show,” he says adding a touch of sweetness to his voice.
“Yes, a spectacular performance indeed,” Jongho says, clapping his hands together.
“Thank you, we do our best,” Mr Hak says, sounding far too prideful. The response makes you roll your eyes.
Jongho hums, eyes sharp as he watches Mr. Hak.
“Of course. And that’s why we’re glad to be buying it off of you,” he says casually.
You do your best to hide the smug grin at the way your boss reacts.
“Buying?” he asks, clearly confused.
“Yes the theater, the shows, the performers. All of it.
“While I appreciate the offer, it's not for sale,” he chuckles.
“Nonsense,” San says, stepping forward.
He stalks towards Mr. Hak’s desk. Confidence leaking through each of his strides.
“I think you’ll find we’ve arranged a rather gracious deal, isn’t that right Mingi?” he states, glancing over at the taller member. Mingi hums in agreement, coming to stand next to San. Similar to Yunho, he towers over everyone with ease. The closer he gets, the more Mr. Hak shrinks in his spot. With the four in front of him he’s easily surrounded. Like an animal cornered.
“We have, but if you feel as though it needs some rearranging we could always have Hongjoong Hyung stop by. I’m sure he can squeeze in a few moments with his busy schedule,” his voice calm, but the implication clear.
You swear you see your boss’ heart stop as his eyes go wide. He lets out a nervous laugh, quickly waving his hands in front of him.
“That won’t be necessary,” he says quickly.
Smart choice, you think to yourself. Even an asshole like him wouldn’t be stupid enough to go against what the men behind you ask. Especially Kim Hongjoong of all people. There was no dealing with Kim Hongjoong. You’d heard the stories of those he visited, none had ever lived to tell of their exchange. That thought sends a shiver of fear through you.
“Good, then we have a deal,” Jongho says, clearly ending the conversation.
“Our men will escort you out,” he says, snapping his fingers. The door opens once again. Two guards walk in calmly, looking to the trio for orders.
“See to it that Mr. Hak collects all his belongings,” San orders, no longer smiling.
“He should have no need to return to this building after tonight,” Yunho adds, throwing a pointed look at your ex-boss.
The guards nod, moving towards your Mr.Hak quickly. With orders in place, the others begin to file out of the room.
“Pleasure doing business with you,” Jongho calls out over his shoulder, continuing to walk out without a second glance.
Yunho sets his hand on your shoulder, nodding towards the door. You follow him and the others out of the room. You glance back to see Mr. Hak warily eyeing the guards. You continue watching until the door to the office closes behind you.
The members continue walking down out into the foyer of the theater, .leading you outside
“So you’re really buying the theater?,” you ask, breaking the silence.
Jongho shugs, glancing up at the bright sign above the building. He has a soft glance in his eye as he eyes the theater appreciatively.
“I practically come here every other week, it was bound to happen eventually,” he says, waving his hand dismissively.
“Will you close it?,” you ask warily.
“Of course not,” he chuckles.
“And the other performers?,” you probe, Minji crossing your mind along with all the others,
“They’re jobs are safe, they will have the choice to stay or seek employment elsewhere. But no one will be forced to leave, you have our word,” Yunho says, soothing your worries.
You nod, letting out a shaky exhale. For the first time in months things were looking up for you. You were free of Mr. Hak, and you could continue to do what you love without being miserable.
“I can’t possibly thank you enough,” you say, emotion creeping into your voice.
You bow to them, taking a moment to wipe at the tears building in your eyes. The four smile at you, being unable to find you anything but adorable.
“We're not as scary as we look,” San says, throwing his arm around you in a friendly manner. “Well except maybe Mingi,” he says, glancing at the taller man. Mingi glares, reaching over to swat at him. San ducks out of the way, moving between Yunho and Jongho.
The action causes you to giggle. Maybe they were right about not being as scary as they look. Something about their presence felt comforting. Part of you wished you could get to know them a little more.
“So I guess this is goodbye then?” you ask somewhat disappointed.
“Well we do own the theater now, so we’ll be seeing you around,” Yunho says a little too quickly. You don’t notice the way his ears grow red at his mini outburst. The others do. Each of them giving each other knowing glances as they slowly make their way further down the street. Yunho mentally facepalms, knowing he’s never going to hear the end of this later. The next moment makes it worth it however.
You laugh, the twinkling sound making Yunho’s heart race in his chest. God was he screwed.
“I suppose that’s true,” you hum in agreement, a knowing look in your eyes. Something about seeing the tall man bush had the butterflies fluttering even harder in your stomach.
“So I’ll see you around?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
“I look forward to it,” you say, smiling brightly. With that you turn and walk down the street. You offer goodbyes to the others, before making your way across the street, an extra skip in your step. Yunho watches you go, content to watch you leave. Something telling him the adrenaline he feels is here to stay.
#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#atz x reader#ateez au#atz scenarios#atz imagines#atz fanfic#atz fic#atz au#✍🏼#writing
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I love how MXTX plays with perception vs reality of characters. Wei Wuxian is introduced on page not through narration but first through hearsay. People can’t even agree on what the truth is about him, and we don’t learn the full story until well into MDZS.
There are many examples across all three novels but I love how she wrote it for Mu Qing specifically.
Not only are there things like him canonically haunting the dreams of people who make ugly statues of him and him literally pretending to be his own subordinate to avoid facing Xie Lian as himself, but also the rumors. Much like Wei Wuxian, there’s a lot of murk around what he actually has or hasn’t done. Unlike Wei Wuxian, though, it’s never fully cleared up. (At least, to the best of my memory.)
We see that Hua Cheng resents Mu Qing for kicking him out of the army, but we never see why. Was it for Hua Cheng’s good? Was it resentment?
Did Mu Qing kill Jian Lan? He says he didn’t, but no everyone believes him. I don’t know. We aren’t meant to know everything about Mu Qing. It makes him all the more fascinating to me.
There are things that are cleared up about him, like him not being Cuocuo’s father and him no stealing the red pearl earring, but I find it more fascinating when we just don’t know.
#almond rambles#tgcf#mu qing#i love him so much yall#I’m too tired to be reading lately but when I do read tgcf I can’t help but fixate on him#and it’s funny bc my first impression was ‘what an asshole I’d never like him I don’t know why so many fans do’#and now I’m like ‘my sweet darling baby and also literally me and if you hate him I WILL FIGHT YOU’#if you understand him fundamentally as a character and still hate him that’s different#but if you just look at him on the surface or have some made up idea of him in your head and you hate that??? death penalty.#I’m sorry I swear I can be trusted to be normal about him
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Secret Kindness
Summary: Joel Miller x Fe!Reader -> It's no secret Joel Miller could be an asshole, but it was a secret that that wasn't all he could be.
Disclaimer: I haven't finished my re-watch but I wanted to write something for him. Kinda friends to lovers, oblivious idiots in love, descriptions of scars, bruises, cleaning wounds, kinda a 'who did this to you?' trope. Swearing, light spoilers for Field of Dreams? Fluff. Not Proof Read.
It was no secret that Joel Miller could be an asshole.
From the unspoken stories from his brother, to his treatment of people in general; untrusting, strong dislike, to simply his responses when talking to people. Mostly it was in grunts or short sentences.
Except, for some reason nobody else could see that Joel wasn’t just an asshole. He could be kind, funny, and deeply caring. That was something you had known from the minute you’d seen him.
Having arrived in Jackson a month or so after the winter, you had heard stories about Tommy Miller’s brother Joel. Most people called him an ass – never truly giving a reason why. But when he walked back into town with who you presumed to be his daughter with him, you saw there and then a side to Joel Miller that nobody cared to mention.
How he constantly looked around for the girl, watched her every move in fear she might get hurt. How his hand came to her shoulders, leading her away from looking at the group of people staring at them and towards the bar where Tommy had just walked out from.
And over the following weeks, you saw small parts of Joel that you felt nobody else had even cared to see. He helped Tommy where he could, and helped others where they’d let him. A couple of times you’d see Ellie – having met her briefly one afternoon when she was sat with Tommy as he tried to fix a toaster – struggling with her homework, only to turn to the one man who a lot of people were afraid of in town. With a calm nod, he’d walk over and help her.
Then you finally met him.
Usually, you were on patrol in the afternoons, taking over after Joel’s detail. Except, with one of theirs getting sick, you offered to cover. The other’s didn’t want to pair off with Joel because of their preconceived notions of him, or were more than eager to do so, which made Joel slightly uncomfortable.
So, when you called out to be paired with him, he agreed. Though, neither of you missed the looks two of the women in the team gave you as you walked past them and followed Joel.
That was the day you became friends with Joel.
“You know, if it makes you that uncomfortable, I can make a swap with one of them. Just because the world went to shit doesn’t mean someone should feel like it.”
Joel thanked you and, although he never gave an actual answer to your offer, part of him was pleased to see you in detail regularly.
Over the following weeks, you got to know more about him. About Ellie. About Tommy. About his life before Jackson. And he got to know yours.
“Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing the right thing.” Joel suddenly said to you one day.
You’d both been walking the grounds around the town and found yourselves looking over and in behind the wooden posts. People were mostly going about their day, working or playing.
“Right thing about what?”
“With Ellie. She’s just a kid and she’s already seen so much. She deserves a normal life.”
“She has a normal life, Joel. As normal as it can get these days. And that’s because you gave it to her.”
“Did I, though? Y/n, she hadn’t even seen a car before we hit the road.”
With a small sigh, you walked a little further up and met Joel where he stood. “If you’re that worried about her, show her something. Teach her something. A life skill that isn’t about survival.”
“Like what?”
You shrugged and looked back over the town. There has to be something.
“Do you know how to play the guitar?” You asked after a moment, turning back to him.
He nodded. “Use to.”
“Well, I’ve got a guitar in my house. Found it when I was rummaging through the attic. Teach her how to play the guitar.”
You walked away and a little further through the trees, Joel quickly followed after you. “I don’t know any songs.”
“I’ve got a guitar. There’s gotta be song books somewhere in that attic. We can look when we get back into town.”
“And if there isn’t?”
“Then…make one up? It’ll be like riding a bike. Trust me.”
“Trust me.” Joel repeated. “Trust me, she says. Have you ever even played the guitar?”
You let out a small laugh. “Once. I wasn’t very good though.”
A few hours later, yourself and Joel were standing inside your house at the bottom of your attic ladders.
“After you.”
You stood so far away from the steps, Joel already had a feeling he knew what would be awaiting him.
“There a reason I’m going first?” He asked, already halfway up the ladders.
“No…”
He looked down at where you were standing; holding the ladder steady. “Okay, maybe. I found the guitar and then a massive spider. It ran away quickly. I couldn’t find it so that room is now his.”
Joel’s boots hit the floor of the attic and after a few minutes you heard a stomp before he called down to you. “Spider’s dead. You’re safe.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
Walking up the ladders, you peaked your head over the edge of the floor before taking a look around. The coast was clear. And for the next twenty minutes, you and Joel rummaged through a couple of different boxes until you both found what you were looking for, including some extra things.
“Watch your step.” Joel stood behind you a little as you climbed down the last couple of steps, the heat of his hand warming your hip before he stepped around you and pushed the ladder back up into the door, closing the hatch.
Carrying the case of books down, you followed Joel with the box of clothes that you’d deemed salvageable.
“Thanks, for your help.”
“Don’t mention it. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Joel nodded. “Tomorrow.”
Just before you closed the door, you called out for him. “Joel?”
He turned around.
“You’re a good dad. And Ellie’s a good kid. You’re doing a good job.”
He didn’t know what to say, feeling grateful if a little awkward and unsure of himself. Looking at you from the path to your home, he wanted to walk back and…hug you? He wasn’t too sure. So, with a low nod, he gave you a brief smile before he thanked you once more and headed back home.
As the next day came into view, Joel was rushing around the kitchen since he’d missed his alarm leaving Ellie to pound her fist on his bedroom door.
“Done your homework?”
“We don’t have homework this week.” Ellie told him as she took another stab at her eggs. “Were you meant to see Y/n this morning?”
Joel shook his head, pulling the hot toast from his toaster before reaching for the butter knife. “Don’t think so. Why?”
“Because she’s at the door.”
A knock came less than a second later and Ellie watched as Joel became something more than just flustered. “Uhhh.”
“Want me to get it?”
“Go ahead.” He reached into the cupboard above his head and pulled out a jar of peanut butter.
As Ellie answered the door and let you inside, letting you follow her through the house towards the kitchen, Ellie didn’t miss how neater the kitchen looked since she left.
And she didn’t miss how Joel’s hair had gone from sticking out in most places and his shirt being buttoned wrong, to being neat and tidy.
“Y/n’s here.”
“Hey,” Joel practically breathed out. “Were we meant to meet-”
You shook your head. “No, don’t worry. I just…” You held out the pile of clothes in your hands. “I found some more clothes last night after you left. And considering they won’t fit me, I figured you might want them. I’ve dropped some into town already but I saved these in case you needed some.”
“He does.”
“Ellie.”
“What?”
Joel looked back at you. “Thank you. That’s, uhh, that’s nice. Thanks.”
With a little awkward nod, you placed them on the kitchen table where Ellie took one from the pile and held it up. It didn’t seem like it would fit Joel.
“There’s some there for you, too,” you told her.
“Thanks.”
A moment of silence settled over the kitchen before Joel’s mind was kicked back into reality. “Right, you’re gonna be late. Have you got your-”
“Lunch, books, jacket.” Ellie sounded off.
It seemed like the list was a ritual.
“I’ve got it all now let’s go.”
You followed Joel and Ellie out of their house and through the town, Joel walking Ellie to school before he made his way further down the road and towards the stables.
It was your day to clean out their stables and since Joel was on construction, he’d offered to be the one to help fix a couple of the stable doors.
And all day, talking or working in silence, you both missed the looks and stares from the rest of the town paterons.
To them they’d seen Joel go from an asshole who spoke in grunts and rough gestures to witnessing a foreign side to him that apparently you only got to see.
When you were around him, people saw him actually smile. A few even heard him laugh. Of course, when people mentioned it to Tommy, he was a little shocked they hadn’t seen it sooner. It had shocked him to his core when he saw his brother seem a little like his older self when he was with Ellie – laughing, smiling, joking. Even if it contained a few more swear words. So when he saw Joel practically skip into work (he didn’t. But he definitely had a pep in his step) Tommy made sure to keep an eye on what had caused the change.
The only thing that had changed in his life outside of Ellie was you.
You’d come into his life and the side of him that was only visible to his family was very, very slowly becoming visible to the outside world.
Then the rumors started.
And they circulated for months.
“Heard any good new ones?” Tommy asked, leaning over the bar top, pretending to be interested in Ellie’s homework.
“Overheard one of the teachers. They said they’ve met before but because she was running a herbal shop when we were on the road. Apparently she slipped something into his tea that made sure he only ever liked her if they met again.”
Tommy choked back a laugh. “Well, shit.”
“Still doesn’t beat him being a warlock and being cursed to spend his entire life with her.” Ellie said.
“Do you know who started that one?”
Ellie shook her head, pretending to be interested in her homework, too. You and Joel were on the other side of the bar, setting up a couple of hanging features before Maria could get to the ladders again. Despite her being seven months pregnant, she was determined to ignore her midwife.
“Not yet. But when I do they better run. I like Y/n.”
“I do, too. And it really should be the other way ‘round. She’s cursed to spend her life with him. I used to live with him. I’ve seen him in the morning.”
“We’ve all seen him in the morning.”
“S’Not my fault I’m not a morning person.” Tommy practically stood to attention as Joel made his way over. “You two giving me shit?”
“No,” Ellie said far too innocently.
Joel hummed. “I’m sure. Tommy, you seen the 2x4 I left here?”
Looking under the bar, he held it up. “This?”
Joel took it from his hand. “Thanks.”
“Hey, Maria and I were thinking about having a family dinner this week? What’d you think?”
Joel nodded after taking in Ellie’s reaction. “Sure. When?”
“Tomorrow? About 7?”
Joel nodded. “We’ll be there.”
“Hey.”
Joel turned back to his brother. “Want to invite Y/n?”
Joel looked from his brother, to you where you were measuring out the centre of the wall on the ladder, and then back to his brother. “I can ask.”
Tommy smiled and Joel went on his way. “How long do’ya think it’ll take?”
“At this rate? An eternity.”
The next evening rolled around and you found yourself being dragged towards Tommy and Maria’s home by Maria.
“My shift ran late but I didn’t want to come empty handed.” You explained to Tommy and Joel as you were practically launched inside by the former’s wife.
“All is forgiven.” Tommy told you as he showed his wife what was in the tupperware you’d brought with you. “Right?”
“Yes, all is forgiven. Now let’s eat.”
Sitting down at the dinner table, Joel held out his arm and let you walk inside before him, where he held your chair out for you before tucking you under and sitting beside you and Ellie sitting on his other side.
However, halfway through dinner, your body jerked til you sat straight. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. Just twisted myself.”
All in all, it was a nice family dinner. A couple stories were shared, some updates given and then you found yourself being walked home by Joel since Ellie had given a small salute to you both before reaching your path, saying she had to rush home to do…something.
“Have fun, kids.”
“Take the main road!”
“Whatever you say!”
Joel gave a small groan. “She’s gonna give me a heart attack one of these days.”
You smiled. “She’ll be safe, Joel.”
Walking you to your door, Joel saw your body react to something that didn’t seem to be there.
“Are you sure you’re okay? That’s the forth-”
You let out a laugh. “I promise, Joel. I’m okay. Just twisted myself on patrol today.”
He didn’t seem to believe you. “I swear. I’ll be okay.”
With a sigh, Joel accepted your promise. “Okay.”
Then you did something that even shocked you. You leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, for walking me home. And for inviting me. It was a fun night.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“We should do it more often.”
Joel smiled. “Just might.”
Then a familiar silence settled over both you and Joel. The kind of silence that was begging for something more. But then, taking in a breath, you stepped back.
“Thank you, again. Goodnight, Joel.”
“G'night, Y/n.”
As you shut and locked the door, Joel found himself smiling as he walked away, his gaze drifting back to your home every now and again as he made his way back down the path and through the town to his own home where Ellie was waiting for him in the living room.
“So, did you kiss her?”
“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” The look Joel gave Ellie made her feel like she was under a spot-light. It was past ten pm.
“Answer the question?”
“Ellie.”
Standing dramatically, Ellie sighed. “Come on. I know you like her. And she likes you. Why not just kiss her already? Give the rest of us a break from the looking, and the staring and the smiling and the looking.”
Taking his daughter by her shoulders, he steered her towards the stairs and up them. “Teeth and bed. Now, please.”
“Ugh, fine. But you know I’m right.”
“Goodnight, Ellie.”
Eventually, after hearing the tap turn off and Ellie’s bedroom door shut, Joel shut his own and lay down in bed, his last thoughts being on you and what Ellie had said.
I know you like her. And she likes you.
A few days passed, however, before he saw you again. Which worried him more than he wanted to admit. But when he finally did, he knew the minute he saw you something was wrong.
Ellie had knocked on your front door early in the afternoon having snuck out of school. She’d invited you to watch a movie or two with her and Joel that evening.
“We found a whole bunch at the back of one of the closets. Please say yes.”
You smiled. You’d been dying to see both of them for days but the pain that had started as your side had practically spread across your entire body overnight.
“Okay. So long as it’s okay with Joel.”
“He said it’s okay.”
Joel didn’t know anything about it until Ellie got home from school and told him what would be happening. But he wouldn’t have said no anyway.
Ellie had practically flung the door off its hinges when she saw you walking up the steps of their porch.
“Someone’s excited.”
“Come on, come on, come on.”
Ellie pulled you inside and shut the door. “Joel! She’s here.”
“Is the door still attached? No Ellie sized hole in it?”
“He’s been grumpy all week.”
“I heard that!”
Then he appeared around the corner and your heart did the same thing it had been doing for weeks whenever you did see him. But that only caused you more pain in your chest.
“Ellie, go and bring the box down. We need to see which ones need to be rewound.”
Ellie looked between the pair of you before disappearing up the stairs.
“Hey, sorry I didn’t-”
“Show me.”
“What?” You took a small step back as Joel was about to take one forward.
“Y/n. Show me.”
Carefully walking over to you, you shook your head. “I’m fine, Joel.”
He was a little less abrupt this time. “Show me?”
His fingers traced the hem of your t-shirt and with a reluctant but painful sigh, you carefully removed your jacket with his help.
“Can I?”
With a soft nod, Joel took his eyes from yours and lifted the corner of your t-shirt only to be met with deep purple bruises with spots of black, green and yellow.
“It’s not as bad as it looks. It’s starting to heal.”
Joel didn’t seem amused. “Y/n-” Then he noticed the others. “You’ve been cut. Jesus. Fuck. Come with me.”
Taking your hand in his, he pulled you towards the kitchen. “Sit down.”
“Joel, I’m fine.”
“Sit down.”
“If I sit down, it hurts more.”
Another silence washed over you both before he turned back to his freezer and pulled out a couple of ice packs. “Here…can I?”
You gave him your permission once more and he lifted your t-shirt and placed the ice packs against your sides. You could feel his thumb rubbing light lines across your side as he held you steady.
“Got 'em’ I think a couple- holy shit.”
Ellie got a clear view of the deep bruises across you. “Ellie, can you run and get the first aid kit from the bathroom?”
“Yea, are you okay?”
You nodded. “I’ll be fine. I promise.”
“Ellie.” Joel pushed. She nodded quickly then ran upstairs in search of the kit.
“That’s what you told me.” Joel mumbled under his breath.
“It didn’t look this bad.”
“When did it happen?”
There was no point in lying to him anymore. “Patrol before the dinner.”
“Who did it?”
“I slipped and fell against one of the trees.”
Flicking his eyes from your wounds and back to your face, one of his hands ran around the rim of your top until it was lifted high enough for him to get a clear picture, he shook his head. “Trees don’t tend to have rifles as branches.”
“It was mine.”
Joel pointed at one of the longer bruises. “This one…is yours.”
He pointed at the other one. “Whose was this?”
He looked you in your eyes but you shook your head. “Joel…”
“Got it.” Ellie landed at the bottom of the stairs.
“Thanks, kiddo.”
Pulling a chair out, Joel sat beside you. “Sure you don’t want to sit?”
You shook your head. “Not yet.”
“Okay. Ellie, go and see if you can rewind some of those tapes.”
She just nodded slowly. “Okay.”
Joel waited until she left the room before asking you to remove your shirt. It took you a minute but with his help you finally got it over your head. Under any other context, Joel’s eyes trailing your body would have been for another reason outside of his brain counting each cut and scrape you’d gotten and each bruise that was trying its best to heal.
“This might sting.”
You nodded and bit your lip as the cold disinfectant hit your wounds. Some of them you didn’t even know existed considering you could only turn your body so far to look in the mirror before it screamed for you to remain still.
“Was it your partner?”
You swallowed thickly. “No.”
Your back was to him for the moment, so that made it easier to tell him the truth. “One of the others. They were hearing noises. His partner had left him and he got lost. Must have heard me and just…jumped. He didn’t mean to. He’s just a kid, Joel. He got scared. Did what most of us would have done.”
“You could have been shot.”
“But I wasn’t. I’m okay, Joel.”
He shook his head. “Says the woman covered in bruises and scars.”
“They’ll heal. I’ll heal.”
“What’s his partner’s name?”
“Joel.”
“Just tell me. If you don’t, I’ll ask around and Maria can be the one to deal with him.”
You sighed. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”
“What his partner did was stupid.”
“Joel.”
He grunted. “I promise.”
Swearing halfway through as Joel pressed another cotton swab of disinfectant to a scar, you told him his name. Joel had a couple of run ins with him over the last couple of months. A jock twenty years out of college, still trying to haze the kids under his authority.
Ten minutes or so later, Joel had finished and replaced the ice packs you’d been holding at your side.
Laying them on either side of your body as you turned around, your t-shirt falling back around your body. He slowly stood and you held onto his arms, your eyes closing.
“Any better?”
You nodded. “Much. Thank you.”
You both stood there for a few moments, your eyes closed, feeling the throbbing in your sides settle more than it had done in the last couple of days. And as you let out a calm breath, Joel leaned against you a little and pressed a kiss to your forehead before you rested it against his chest.
“I think I’m ready to sit now.”
“Okay,” Joel whispered before pressing another kiss to the top of your head before walking with you into the living room, finding a set up already made by Ellie.
“I thought the blankets might help.”
You smiled at her. “Thank you, Ellie.”
She smiled from her spot on the floor by the TV, her finger still holding the rewind button down. Joel helped you sit down.
“So, what are the options?”
Ellie read out a couple of the boxes. There were a lot of Disney films, a couple of thrillers and a few more different blockbusters. So, sticking his hand into the box without looking, Joel pulled one out.
Ellie read the cover. “Field of Dreams.”
“Ooh, that’s a good one.”
Ellie looked at Joel for confirmation and he nodded. “Stick it in, kid.”
Sitting beside you, you leaned against Joel for support and very soon after, Ellie joined his other side.
“Does he dream about a field?”
“Just watch it and you’ll find out.”
Around 40 minutes into the movie, Joel felt a steady weight against his arm where he turned and found Ellie fast asleep. So carefully reaching over, he pulled a blanket over her and held her steady against him.
“She asleep?”
“Yep. Yet to get through a movie with her awake.”
You smiled.
“You get much sleep recently?”
“Enough to keep me going.” Joel didn’t say anything but when he placed his arm around your shoulders, that said everything.
“This always made me cry.” You whispered to Joel as Archie stepped across the line and became his older self.
“How many times have you seen this film?” He’d caught you a couple of times mouthing the lines along with the characters.
You felt your cheeks heat. “A couple. Before I came to Wyoming, one of my neighbours had a VCR and two films. This and The Parent Trap. Since I’d look after her two kids when she worked, it didn’t take long for me to learn the scripts.”
“So how much do you know of The Parent Trap?”
You felt yourself chuckle. “We can watch it and find out.”
Joel laughed quietly, too, before carefully pulling you closer. “How’s your side?”
You looked up at him. “Better. Thank you.”
“Good.”
Joel pressed a kiss to your head before getting settled with both you and Ellie. And just as Kevin Costner started to play a game of catch, you felt yourself drift off to sleep.
You didn’t know how long had passed since the movie ended but when your body hit a soft surface, you stirred awake.
“Shush, it’s okay. Go back to sleep.”
“Joel.”
“It’s okay. I’m gonna check on Ellie.”
Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to your head but you mustered enough energy to reach out for him. “Come back.”
“I promise.” Lifting your hand, he pressed a light kiss to your knuckles. You woke up again when a weight dipped on the other side of the bed. Then you heard a familiar groan as his body settled into the softness of the mattress.
You shuffled closer to Joel.
Waking for the third time, the room was being lit with the soft rays of the sun and beside you, deep breaths were being taken by Joel as he remained in a deep sleep.
If this was anyone else, you probably would have left. Hell, you wouldn’t have fallen asleep in the first place. But you trusted Joel. More so than most. You also found him to be steadier than most. He’d shared some of what had happened on the road with him and Ellie, as well as what happened before. Life hadn’t been steady with him, and yet, there he lay. Stable. Able. Strong. Maybe not as he was twenty years ago, but still. Trustworthy. And beneath it all…kind. Caring. Sensitive; even if he wouldn’t admit it. He knew when people were hurt, or hurting. And maybe for others he’d seem gruff. But not with you. Not with Ellie. Not with those he loved and cared deeply for.
With his hand wrapped over yours, you lifted it and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand. Maybe Joel Miller could be an asshole. But to you he was a decently kind man.
Maybe others wouldn’t see that considering between the hour that Joel had left to pick a package up from Tommy, leaving you and Ellie to find another tape to play, your attacker’s partner found his nose broken and had been given a black eye. But you didn’t mind his kindness being kept a secret from the rest of the world.
Those he cared for knew the truth.
You knew the truth.
And nothing could ever change that.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller#tlou#the last of us#pedro pascal#pedro pascal joel miller#joel miller x fe!reader#fluff#angst#falling in love#who did this to you trope#cleaning wounds#oblivious idiots
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I have a very serious, very scientific question. You've mentioned that Dr.Oleander has a cat named Calamari who was born in a weirdness bubble... I'm so curious about the cat! Like what kind of cat are they? What's their personality like? HOW CUTE ARE THEY?? (I swear I'm normal about cats they're just so cute!!)
Calamari is a Weird Persian! She's aloof and haughty, but very clingy with Irene! She seems to have the ability to teleport, though Irene has never directly observed her doing this. She's eight years old, but has the vitality of a two year old cat. She may outlive our solar system
#domesticated ford#my art#ask#sketch#cartoon#cat#calamari#cats are my favorite animal so I'm happy to draw her!!#calamari has more self respect than ford
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Can I ask from this ask game for BingYuan (all of the questions)? Thanks 🧁
https://www.tumblr.com/comingfromastatechampionasshole/119898100247?source=share
Send me a ship and a number and I'll tell you
1. Which one is the better cook
Binghe 100%. Shen Yuan was a spoiled rich kid and after Binghe fell into the abyss he just stopped eating... there's no way he knows how to toast bread
2. What their love letters look like
Love letters imply they're ever far enough to need to send each other letters... at most they'll be long texts Binghe sends rambling about how much he wuvs his hubby and would rather be at home than his stupid job as King 🙄 and Shen Yuan blushes and replies "Focus on work Binghe..." Then he waits for Binghe to get home and whine that sy was so cold to him so he can apologize with smooches
3. Which one outlives the other, and how they cope
I mean . We know how this goes. Corpse cuddles and trying to raise the dead
4.What they do on date night
Since Binghe is a hopeless romantic who never thought anyone would love him, I think he'd want to do stereotypically romantic and basic dates. They go to an ice rink and hold hands while they skate and he's vibrating with joy because he's living out his hallmark fantasies. Shen Yuan indulges him sooo much.. too much. He got a cold but it was worth it seeing Binghe's happy face
5. How many kids they'll have
I'm gonna say... two. One is through breeding kink gone too far, second is them seeing an orphan boy who reminds them so much of Binghe as a child and deciding they have to adopt him immediately
6. How they decorated their bedroom
Elegant and slightly minimalist. Shen Yuan has all his merch hidden away in his childhood bedroom at his parents house because he's thin faced... they stay over one night and Shen Yuan completely forgets his old room is a haven of his weeb shit and is mortified when Binghe sees his limited edition poster of a hunky male character naked holding a sword.
7 Which one is the worse driver
Shen Yuan by far... same reason as his cooking, he probably had a driver take him everywhere until Binghe showed up
8. What they argue about
9. Which one swears more
Shen Yuan by a landslide. Binghe is a very intelligent and well read man and while the same holds true for Shen Yuan, if he goes 2 minutes without calling Airplane a dumfuck authour it's worrying
10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other
Theyll watch anything together, even stuff they dont like so Binghe can listen to him rant about how much it sucks. Shen Yuan hides PIDW and all his other porn-for-plot interests but Binghe knows about them.
11. What their first impression was of each other
Shen Yuan impression of Binghe: beautiful and strong man
Binghe’s first impression of Shen Yuan: beautiful and kind man
(This never changes)
12. What they do for their anniversary
Regrets of Chunshan role-playing baby!!
13. Which makes a bigger deal of birthdays
Hmm. I'm gonna have to say both. Binghe cooks a feast and Shen Yuan dotes on him and fulfills any wish Binghe has.
14. What nicknames they call each other
Binghe: yuan-gege or laoshi
Shen Yuan: Bingmei (in his head only, he's too embarrassed to say it)
15. What they would change about each
If you ask them, Shen Yuan would say Binghe should have a smaller pillar... this is a lie. He can't go back to normal after getting used to Binghe stretching him so wide
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When You Touch Me - Wolverine x male reader x Deadpool 8/?
A little shorter one, but it felt right. Next one is definitely going to be longer. Still on vacation, so I got no idea when the next chapter will be, but it will be longer. Hope y'all are having a good time! (AO3) (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)
Warnings/tags: male reader, canon-typical violence, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn
Wordcount: 797
Summary: You’ve heard many stories about how people met their soulmates. Everyone crazier than the last, ranging from typical meet cutes, meeting with one of them at death's door, in war, meeting at your soulmate's wedding to another, and everything in between and outside of that. You had just never expected to add yours to the crazy list, meeting yours in a fight, only realizing after trying to kill each other for at least half an hour. And you certainly don’t expect to have another.
This time you get two weeks of what is blessed silence to your mind, but torture on your body before you see either of them again.
Yet again it's an unexpected location, though a slightly less strange one. You are finally back in the gym, after Evelyn giving you the go ahead. Dave had agreed to spar with you after calling her, just being a good friend, but you are working out frustration of not being able to do much training for weeks.
Your body hurts and aches, but you hope getting to move and use it will soften it up somehow.
It can’t hurt too much to at least try.
You need to keep yourself strong and able. You steadfastly ignore the hurt in your shoulders and upper back, the pain so constant now that you have gotten used to it.
You are just done with warming up, slowly and carefully, and manage to get your boxing gloves on and hit Dave’s sparring gloves all of three times before you are interrupted.
“You put on a show like this for anyone pookie?” You freeze mid-punch as you hear a familiar voice. Turning around, just outside the mats you are currently standing on, is Wade. He’s dressed in his full Deadpool suit, weapons and all.
“Dave, let's take a break, give me like ten minutes.” You address your sparring partner as you glare at Wade.
“Uh sure. You going to be okay?” You look over your shoulder, and see him eyeing Wade’s guns.
“Yeah, nothing I haven’t dealt with before.” He nods, taking off his sparring pads before walking away and leaving the two of you alone.
“What are you doing here?” You take one glove off, dropping it on the floor in favor of grabbing your water bottle and taking a swig. Wade watches you, tilting his head as he speaks, and you swear you can hear the grin on his face.
“I was just in the neighborhood, and happened to see you through the windows, putting on the most titillating show.” You eye the windows, which are pushed high up in the ceiling of the gym. You take off your other glove and put your water down, hands on your hip as you glare at him.
“Sure, right..... Now, since you were just in the neighborhood, you have no reason to stay.”
“Seeing you, sweaty and panting, canceling your inner ‘Real Steel’? I think that’s a good enough reason.” He steps onto the mats, raising his hands. “I’m no Atom, but I can shadow box well enough.” He raises his fists up in a loose guard, making a come hither motion with one fist. You sweep your leg out, catching one of his, making him fall on his back with a yelp and smack of the mats. A second later one of his guns is no longer in its holster, instead it's pointing at his chest, while your knee on his stomach and your hand around his throat keeps pins him down.
“If there weren’t people around, I would shoot you right now.” You know people keep to themselves here, but you think if you actually shot Wade they would pay attention. His voice is breathier than normal as you press down on his throat as he answers.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time. Besides, there are much more fun things you can do with me if we were alone.” You roll your eyes, ignoring how you’re actually feeling better by the second. For a fleeting moment the thought of getting your hands on skin instead of his suit goes through your head, but you shake it away.
“There isn’t.” You let go of his throat to take the magazine out of his gun, dropping it and the gun on his chest as you get up, standing next to his hip. He tilts his head, staying quiet long enough that you are able to talk again.
“I’m going to go take a piss, I expect you to be gone when I get back. If you’re not, I’m going to use your own damn blades to start cutting limbs off, audience be damned.”
“I think the audience would like that, the freaks (affectionate).” He winks somewhere off to his left, towards a weight rack.
“Wade.” You are sure the irritation rolls of you in waves, even without the bond between you both.
“Yeah, yeah, don’t get your panties in a twist, I’ll get out of your lovely hair.” You roll your eyes again, but turn your back on him and walk away.
—--
When you get back from the bathroom, Wade is gone. But, he has carved a heart with ”pookie” inside into one of the mats, making you curse his goddamn name under your breath.
#wolverine x reader x deadpool#logan howlett x male reader#wolverine x male reader#logan howlett x reader#wade wilson x male reader#deadpool x reader x wolverine#wade wilson x reader#wolverine x reader#wolverine x deadpool x reader#deadpool x reader#deadpool x male reader#poolverine x reader#logan howlett#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#wolverine fic#deadpool fic#marvel fic#deadpool and wolverine fic#wade wilson#wolverine#male!reader#male reader#written#when you touch me#wytm
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OKAY HEAR ME OUT i know your bio says you like angst but no one has sent you anything except fluff and smut skfkskfkskf so could i pretty please req an unrequited love trope w/ lara? (or who you prefer) like maybe she has feelings for reader but reader is with another member already or somerhing like that? 🥺
“love is a drug that I quit”
sypnosis -» each passing moment, each heartbeat — guilt gnaws lara knowing she had a crush on her best friends girlfriend
beware! -» angst , touch of fluff , breakup , established relationship, toxic/cheater!sophia , swearing, crying, eventual mutual liking , guilt, I think reader is also kinda toxic in here
talks -» hey babes idk if you wanted a good ending or bad one so I give you a somewhat okay one , also thank you for requesting angst!!! , lovesick girls reference on the title, I think I went off the request a. tad bit hope it's okay though :((
taglist (open) : @nyssalvr @ohmyhaely @vrtualstar @jellaaa @c-yerim
knowing lara she would never ever ignore you on purpose — yet here she was being distant , it didn't bother you much since she was only a friend , right?
sophia invited you to stay the night in the girls house , it wasn't out of the normal — what was out of the normal was a lipgloss that sophia and yoonchae didn't use, it was near sophia's bed , at first you didn't look into it thinking maybe it was lara's or maybe megan's lipgloss
yet something in you tingled , something that told you it was someone elses
so without thinking much you asked the girls around the house if they used this specific brand of lipgloss
"manon— do you like rare beauty lipglosses?" you ask the eldest "no.. I kinda like lip oils better" she replied after so you thanked her
"hey do you guys use rare beauty lipglosses?" you ask the youngest duo while they play a video game "nope!" they both replied after so going back to their game
the same response was heard from the middle kids aka lara and daniela , now your actually seething who the fuck owned this gloss then
"sophia elizabeth laforteza—who the fuck owns this gloss and don't try to lie to me!" you scream startling her to stop using her laptop , your hands were fisted , everything felt warm or too hot as sweat dripped down from your forehead
"baby I don't know—maybe it's megan's" her voice trembled as she focused on other things rather than looking at you — she was fucking lying "are you fucking with me?! — she doesn't own this! she told me earlier!" you scream at her , she stood up and tried to calm you down but you swat her hands away
"baby—its no ones I swear" sophia tries to reason out using her soft voice that could've worked but god your tired of her lying to you, "soph don't fucking lie to me—ill find out one way or another"
you snatch her phone opening it , she tries to get it back but you push her off you , scrolling thru her dms you stumbled upon a mysterious number opening it you were not so warmly greeted with a exchange of heartfelt messages , between your girlfriend and some bitch named gabbie
"sophia I'm not gonna do this anymore — why the hell are you talking to gabbie? and why the fuck are you both so lovey dovey?" you angrily threw her phone to the floor — she looked pale almost as if she saw a ghost
"baby it's not what it seems!-"
"no sophia I'm done with you and everything — I thought maybe just maybe giving you a second chance would work , yet here you are back to your old schemes" you cut her off , your eyes blur as tears start to threaten leaving your eyes , you couldn't think properly, you packed up your things with sophia still trying to defend herself , trying to stop you from leaving
she wasn't the sophia you fell in love with certainly not the sophia you're gonna stay with
"I'm sorry — I love you but if you love me too sophia you would let me go" you said trying your very best just to look or even sound composed
now sitting in your car crying like a kid — you couldn't even bear going home when all you can think about is sophia , her hugs that made you comfortable, her kiss that made you melt especially the moments you both cherished
♪
nights passed — sleepless ones even and you still think about her , it wasn't getting any better , the more you cave in the more you became a wreck
the girls all heard the conversation — honestly it was very sick and twisted for sophia to even think of cheating on you, the girls especially lara who was very close to sophia started to distance themselves often times only getting close for fanservice
each passing moment, each heartbeat — guilt gnaws lara knowing she had a crush on her best friends girlfriend
well now ex best friend and ex girlfriend , lara didn't know what to do , whether to pick you or sophia
she wanted to approach you , to talk to you not even in a way to date but just a way to make sure your okay
so she did with her not so impeccable social skills chatting you one random night
freedom girl: y/n? can we talk? I know you're not fully healed yet but I would love to just sit down and talk with you even for a few minutes
you: sure , meet you at the studio?
freedom girl: yes be there in 30
you got ready , you knew damn well that you needed to talk to someone even if that meant it was lara — just because you didn't like her friend doesn't mean you didnt like her
driving there was quiet, no music just the gentle breeze of the air-conditioning in your car , your comfort was soon just silence
"hey how are you?" lara greets you as you park infront of the studio
the weather was cold yet in her presence everything felt warm and comforting
"I've been okay—how about you?" you replied as you both walk in the studio , soon sitting down in front of some equipment as you talk heart to heart
♪
it felt like you two were dodging the obvious topic , the break up or was it that? , or the obvious liking towards you by lara
you noticed it the minute sophia introduced you to the rest — yes you found it icky but when you first broke up with sophia she was the one to reconcile you two now for the second break up she was the one who also talked to you
she was the only one who truly cares more than sophia, the one who would actually go to war for you
yet you couldn't find it in you to date her or even confess the confusing feelings you felt , "can I tell you something?" lara suddenly stops you from thinking
"yeah anything" you replied , you look at her face trying to analyze even the smallest tug of her lips or the blink of her eyes
"you changed my perspective on a lot of things—the time you told me that love can be found anywhere, or maybe the time you helped me in my dark times" she then follows "even when you didn't have to"
you felt like a billion bricks were lifted off your shoulders — at this moment you even forgot about sophia, time was stuck and everything was right
"I'm glad I made you feel that way—you make me feel the same , I really hope this doesn't sound weird but I really love you" you mumble not thinking about the words that spewed out of your mouth and frankly you didn't care , you felt safe with her you felt like living again
"I love you too" she replied in a whisper like tone
the line was crossed , boundaries were broken and you're thankful you did
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okay so
i think the viktor and mel hallucinations during jayce's whole Moment in 2x07, their eyes are just completely black. and its VERY faint but u can KIND OF see the outline of their irises if u look REALLY close (irl)
to show u what i mean:
first ones are just normal settings (tho my computer brightness is all the way up), i only messed with the exposure n highlights of the pictures and stuff in the middle ones, and outlined the eyes in the third ones
which could make sense in terms of his mental state i think ? he maybe feels like he let them down, or betrayed them or couldnt help them in a way ??
they dont feel human to him anymore. or maybe hes created these images so theyre judging him as he can only reminisce on what happened and how he left things
mel’s vision looks maybe like either angry, stubborn, strong willed or annoyed lol... her chin is kinda turned down, with downturned eyebrows, and her lower lids are halfway closed implying that shes like glaring or narrowing her eyes at him, her lips almost look pursed together and i think ? her nostrils are flared but its so hard to tell lmao we only get like three frames of over exposure HAAH take these with a grain of salt lmfao
viktor (even tho i cannot for the life of me read his expression HAHA) to the best of my ability i think kinda looks hurt or confused, maybe innocent for lack of a better term or scared. ((which given how he left jayce it would kinda fit lmao)) BUT his brows are ever so slightly scrunched together, one is higher than the other which usually implies confusion or thinking or admiring. eyes are wide open, mouth is agape a teenie bit, these are usually seen with softer, positive or more admirable expressions, and his chin is tilted upward. im not trying to turn this into a jayvik thing i swear im just comparing to my facial recognition knowledge HAHA
and as he loses himself deeper in the hexcore, the more he starts losing and/or fearing the two ppl he loved most ? ... and worries how he’d get back to them (if at all) and how he would imagine they would react.
the two ppl who not only made and brought him to who he is today, but uplifted and supported and stood by him for ~10 years despite everything
anyway this theory would all pair nicely with the voices that start playing in the background during his lil Montage lmao it kind of culminates into a massive guilty conscious, that then outwardly presents itself in their hallucinations:
“i never asked for this” - jayce to viktor, after their conversation about him breaking their promise about destroying the hexcore, resulting in vik leaving him lmao. also jayce literally turned viktor into this metal husk so hes gotta have that sitting on his shoulders too lmfao
“[heimer] was my mentor, and i betrayed him” - jayce (to mel) abt voting heimer off the council despite heimer ending up being completely right about magic in the first place
“it corrupts” “you must destroy it” “ive seen nations destroyed” - heimer about the hexcore, jayce screams over this as those lines play, anguishing over the fact that he literally did this to himself and hes the reason Piltover is (or will be) no more bc he ignored the warnings
“its your time now jayce” “perhaps its time for the era of magic” - mel to jayce, context is in the quotes HAHA. jayce is screaming no! no! and please! during these lines, i think its just to hammer (pun intended) home on the fact that it all ties back to him for ‘creating’ magic. its on HIM (at least in his own mind) for the destruction of Piltover and all of its people
not to mention the reason hes stuck down there for so long is because his own invention (hextech hammer) disabled him enough to make him unable to climb out for (as far as we know) weeks or even months... more outward projection of self guilt, but like far more literal than symbolic i guess
and as other people mentioned already, it put him in the same position of viktor (down in the depths of zaun having to pull himself up to piltover with the challenges of a disabled leg and illness and no one to support or help him) which allowed him to relate to viktor in a way he never could have before
maybe im just thinking too hard about it idk (im not). or unless this was extremely obvious to the average viewer HAHA. in my defense i spent this whole montage pausing every .6 seconds to take a picture of seggsy and broken and whimpering jayce so i wasnt really paying that much attention to it all AHAHA
anyway do u think this was a hallucination or was it actually the mage standing here with him for a flash lmao
okay sorry for that long ass post i would add a page break sooner but it would interrupt my flow of thoughts that i need u all to experience like i do HA
#also sorry i didnt wanna burst ur bubbles but i dont think the viktor hallucination was wearing mels eye makeup HAHA tho he'll still rock it#... hard to ss netflix on a computer idk if the pics do it justice HAHA but its there i know it is😭#jaymel#arcane#arcane season 2#viktor arcane#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane s2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#arcane season two#jayce talis#viktor#jayce arcane#mel medarda#mel arcane#heimerdinger#heimerdinger arcane#arcane season 2 act 3#jayvik#vikjayce#meljay#kats movie rants#<- tagging with this bc its very long and i like keeping my analysis posts in a spot HAHA
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Regarding Hong Lu's Lasso EGO. The abno of Rose Hunter in its MD event actually has two 'parts', of the apple and the hunter. Given how he shares this one with Faust of all people, I do think it may be referencing how they are both the one forcing the story to go on and the one being forced to go along with it. This is about Hong Lu I swear its just the more you dig the more he somewhat parallels her. One vs two blue eyes I guess.
For Faust this is via the Gesellschaft. Her as the apple in the way she must bend to the will of the collective Faust as one with a defined role to play. And as the hunter with how she - for the sake of someone else just the abno has its 'client' (there's a few who could fit this description, like Limbus Company as a whole, whomever is financing the whole operation, the Gesellschaft again) - ensures via various methods like keeping certain things from the sinners that things go according to plan.
Her passive is 'sprawling lasso' is possibly a reference to just how many she has, must, encircle for things to keep going. Plus this EGO is Fatal to Wrath and Gloom. This Wrath as her weakness ties into how this is the first time her voiceline, for corrosion, has expressed proper anger and desperation in her voice as far as I remeber. And Gloom I don't quite have a real reason for, perhaps her lament at not doing things of her own will? At being ensared as all others were?
But to loop lasso it back to Hong Lu, for one his awakening voiceline says to 'run along the flow' which has been causing me normal reactions for several weeks now. Regardless, this does tie into a mini theory of mine that the 'flow' followed by Vergillius is in fact one of the subterranean rivers, though I don't have the mythological knowledge to try and pinpoint which one.
And if we do take the stretch of a river = the flow then it connects to what Xichun was doing in Canto 7 and is yet another reference to water, just like in his base ego and in his promo image. This EGO is also weak to Gloom, funnily enough. Sloth too, though I have never had solid thoughts on that sin past it representing acceptance of sorts, typically to a status quo that hurts them. The corrosion line is presumably a reference to him probably just running away from his family the first chance he got, which was probably Faust.
Onto my thoughts on the illustrations, which was meant to be a minor note but we all know how these go. The thorns in Faust’s EGO illust are thinner and look more like rose branches, with one notably going over her leg as she looks up, seemingly about to get on the horse.
Whilst Hong Lu's has much thicker brambles around the edges - though the rose branches do appear near the bottom - striking me as similar to barbed wire, though thicker than in the base EGO illusts (speaking of, in his the wire seems much fuzzier than say, Yi Sang's). He's already saddled the horse and is looking down(?) At something that has already been entangled in thorns, the abno looking over him and who/what has been ensnared in a way that reminds me of judgement.
Ensnared itself, mind, seemingly lacking an arm, having another mangled and literally no legs to speak of, and no rose on its scarf. A drastic departure to how it was in Faust’s EGO, laying traps on the ground with all its limbs freed and intact, with a sunray to its side and a rose placed neatly upon itself, much more alike its MD self. Hong Lu's awakening is not lacking in the scarf rose, though.
Other rapid-fire thoughts: (corrosion) the rose petals on the horses look like it's bleeding as if being slashed from the stomach. (corrosion) Faust still has the reigns and very much uses them which provides her a degree of separation and control over this. Hong Lu does not. Most notable in both of their hurt sprites, Faust’s horse stands on its hind legs on her (or the Gesellschaft's, depending on how you think on it) command, Hong Lu's horse wants to run away and it turning to do so. (corrosion) Hong Lu's noose/lasso arms both have 2 loops each, unlike the one round his neck that has 3. Faust has red laces.
To close this off: I have been switching between their lasso sprites on the wiki and have one question: is Hong Lu smaller on his horse or had my brain made that up, thank you.
Hilarious thing to see before scrolling down and seeing all of this. Anyway. Let's pick this apart a little.
First things - the apple might not actually be a part of the Abnormality itself.
We know from Ebony Queen's Apple's Observation Log that Abnormalities that are conceptually connected through what they represent are in some way able to be aware of each other's existence - Ebony Queen being aware of 'Snow White', aka LobCorp's Snow White's Apple.
Considering that Rose Hunter is seemingly likely connected to the same fable of Snow White as Ebony Queen's Apple and Snow White's Apple are, specifically in that he represents the huntsman sent to kill Snow White on the Queen's orders, and that the way Rose Hunter describes the apple perfectly matches Snow White's Apple ("an apple that will become a princess, not knowing its rightful place"), it's possible that the apple in question *is* just straight up Snow White's Apple, or a representation of it.
I do agree that it's important to keep it in mind when interpreting Lasso, but I believe it's pretty clear that the apple itself might not inherently be a part of Rose Hunter itself.
After all, Lasso isn't the first E.G.O we've seen where the Sinner is shown to be both the victim and the perpetrator. See AEDD and Capote as the major stars of this trend.
I don't have much to comment on regarding your interpretation of Lasso for Faust - I think that works pretty well with what we know. Faust has to follow what the Gesselschaft and Limbus Company tell her to do, and she herself is responsible for keeping the Sinners on track - keeping them ensnared and following the predetermined path of their stories.
I'll touch upon the points you bring up with regards to Sin Weaknesses (and also bring up Sin Resource Costs, which I believe are a bit more important to E.G.O) a bit later.
Because, here's the thing about the Flow Vergilius talks about - we already kinda know what it is. We see it in Leviathan Book 16.
Vergilius's narration describes the Flow as a "shadow hovering over his back". A sort of insight, or pressure that drives him to make specific choices or move in a specific direction.
He also explains how the Flow isn't one singular force - in fact, he explicitly mentions seeing at least two Flows during this chapter. One brightly colored but slow moving Flow that he could see ahead (which he feels would lead him to actually changing the City), and one darker but faster moving Flow that clung to his back. Every time he tries to avoid following the bright Flow, the shadowy Flow always leads him to ruin, to a point where he's inevitably forced to come back to the bright Flow, as all shadows naturally come from light.
It reminds me a lot of "Gravity" from JJBA, in a way. A supernatural force that drives extraordinary people towards each other and towards their inevitable fates, and every attempt to counteract it ends up making things worse for them when it finally catches up to them.
It's also, like, Heavily implied that Carmen is in some way directly involved with what direction the bright Flow takes, as there's an implication that it's trying to direct Vergilius to his inevitable meeting with Carmen that happens in Book 18, considering how much her trying to get Vergilius to distort is telling him how it would give him the ability to change the world to how he sees fit, matching what he believed the bright Flow was leading him towards.
So like. Flow isn't exactly directly related to the Rivers. But it's also not not related, considering the Carmen -> Light -> Cogito -> Rivers chain.
I don't think the "flow" Hong Lu is referring to is the exact same Flow that Vergilius can see and talks about, at least not entirely. I believe it's also meant to be a reflection of the reason why he's initially willing to follow his story, similarly to how Faust's awakening line does for her.
While Faust wholeheartedly believes that following the story laid out before her and the Sinners is the "correct" thing to do, Hong Lu simply follows along because he just Goes Along With Whatever He's Told. He figuratively goes with the flow, just agrees and follows until things turn out okay in the end. To quote one of his Base Identity's voice lines: "When you’re distraught, simply remember that life goes on even if what you’re doing now doesn’t work out. Then, you’ll be free of worries." As long as he just keeps moving forward, things will be fine in the end.
So, if the Awakening lines are a reflection of why Faust and Hong Lu would feel like they should follow along the path their story is taking, then I believe the Corrosion is a reflection of the "punishment" that awaits them if they are to stray from it. To quote Rose Hunter's MD event, "Ah... If, however, the course was derailed by your actions, you will be held accountable."
Hong Lu's Corrosion line here is the easier one to read - it's meant to be a reflection of his Family's reaction when they catch up to him after he runs away. Outright calling out that he ran away, calling him a fugitive, and the very clear threat of punishment.
For Faust it's actually a lot more interesting, because she clearly brings up the apple and the idea that whoever she caught is hiding it, rather than implying that whoever she caught is the one she was looking for. Perhaps because that's a reflection of how Faust will disobey the Gesselschaft. While Hong Lu disobeys his fate by running away from his Family, Faust would disobey her fate by hiding something from the Gesselschaft. A Golden Bough, perhaps? Instead of bringing one back to the Company, she could keep it hidden for herself, effectively disobeying her orders and the path she was put on. And an act like that would Anger Them Severely.
The thing you point out about the differences in how the Rose Hunter itself is depicted is fascinating. The one depicted in Faust's illustration seems like a direct parallel to how Faust has acted towards Sinners - she's been trapping them with Limbus Company, using their own wishes as bait and the contracts they sign as the snares.
But then there's Hong Lu's Rose Hunter, itself trapped by the snares and mangled to the point it seems there's only half of it clearly there. Half destroyed... I don't have an exact thought in my head regarding that, but you could definitely interpret it with a Two in One angle. How whoever is resonating with Rose Hunter is only Half There, and how that half is inherently trapped within themself, as the vines ensnaring it are also its own snares. Hong Lu is, in part, trapping himself, specifically Baoyu and Daiyu are unwillingly keeping each other trapped by the circumstance of their current situation.
Now. Let's talk Sin Resistances. I'm going to be using the names for the Floor Theme Packs based around the relevant Sin Weaknesses as a base here, since that's the closest thing we have to a canon confirmation of what the Resistances could mean.
The Gloom-weak floor is called Emotional Flood, the Sloth-weak floor is called Emotional Indolence, and the Wrath-weak floor is called Emotional Repression.
Both Lassos being Gloom weak could imply that whatever experiences Hong Lu and Faust have to recall to use it are heavily emotionally charged, making them susceptible to "Flooding" with negative feelings. It could be a reflection of the anxiety it causes both of them to think about - after all a major part of Rose Hunter is the punishment for not following one's path. Having to actively keep those consequences in mind to use the E.G.O would likely leave them shaken up and weak to such negative reminders.
Indolence means the avoidance of exertion or activity, and it's a close synonym to laziness. Hong Lu's Lasso being Sloth weak could reflect how emotionally numb recalling the relevant experiences leaves him. For him, following the path of the story is all about simply letting things happen and not reacting, just trying to reach the end. He's forced to become avoidant of emotional reactions through being too "lazy" to react. It's not like trying to say anything would change things for him, so why even bother trying? He'll reach the end one way or another. And so, being given even more reasons to not care and become more numb hurts all the more, ridding him of whatever little resolve he might have been holding onto.
As such, Faust's Lasso being weak to Wrath is made all the more interesting - it implies there's a level of intense emotion that the experiences bring out within her that she feels the need to repress and hide. This is different to Hong Lu's Sloth weakness, in that while Hong Lu is just straight up numb and passively avoiding feeling anything, Faust is very much feeling some sort of strong frustration that she has to actively silence. Thus it makes it far more painful to her when she's given more reasons to be annoyed - she's already struggling to keep it contained. Something about having to follow her path leaves her deeply frustrated in a way she feels she cannot let herself express, likely due to the consequences of complaining about it.
I also want to make a quick note on the Sin Resources needed to use the E.G.O, specifically the ones that differ between the two.
While both Lassos require Gluttony and Lust, Faust's Lasso requires Envy, while Hong Lu's requires Pride. This, I think, is actually reflected in their Awakening lines and thus the attitudes they have.
Faust sees following the path as something "correct", as something "right". Her own feelings and thoughts don't matter because the opinion of the story she's following is more important than hers. She's expressing Inferiority - aka, Envy.
On the other hand Hong Lu follows the path because it's something he himself believes to be the best option. He doesn't think there are better options, so he just ignores all the shit he has to go through along the way because in the end, he'll be fine. A very Pride thing to believe.
And yes, Hong Lu for whatever reason is notably smaller on the horse in the awakening sprite. No I don't know why either. It honestly might have been an oversight LMAO.
#ask#anon#lu speaketh#limbus company#hong lu#hong lu lcb#faust lcb#faust#lasso hong lu#lasso faust#lcb analysis#lcb speculation#don't worry about being longwined i do that all the time
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Into the Fire: An Eddie Munson x Reader Story Pt. 36
Collage by me :)
Master List
Part 35
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Content Warning 18+ Only, Minors DNI: swearing, alcohol use, crying, fluff, smut, groping, heavy kissing, oral sex, fingering, premature ejaculation, squirting, praise/degradation
Word Count: 6.7k
divider by @strangergraphics
Part 36: I’ll Be There For You
Friday, October 6th, 1989
For the next few weeks after you’ve left the apartment, you do everything in your power to get your life back on track. You get up early every day, having breakfast with your Mom and helping clean up afterwards. Robin drives you to school, and you do the typical model student thing you've always done, taking notes and participating in class. At work, you focus on getting your tasks done, and supervising your subordinates to the best of your ability. Then you go home, get your homework done before dinner is all set and ready for you on the dining room table. You share the meal with your mother once again, the both of you talking about your day and carrying on like everything is normal. It's almost like you never left, like you never met Eddie at all.
That's not to say you haven't thought about him. Of course you have. But you reserve that for when you're in your bed, alone to marinate in your thoughts. Every night, you get closer to the solution to the problem he's created. Every night, you hate him a little less. Every night, you miss him more and more. Every night, you move nearer to where you know you want to be. Forgiveness. You've wanted to be there this entire time, even when you'd convinced yourself it would be impossible to look past this. One of the things that helps you reach this conclusion, is a phone call you have with Dustin about halfway through your period of rumination.
"Of course, she's right here." Mom says sweetly into the headset of the phone. She's been talking to Dustin for a good while, he's been filling her in on all the wonderful things about California and college. "Dusty wants to talk to you, Y/N." Mom hands the phone your way, and you gladly take it. You've missed him a lot since he's been gone. He may be your annoying little brother, but you still love him very much.
"Hey, Dustin. How's college treating you?" You ask once you put the phone to your ear.
"It's been great! This place is awesome! Everyone is so smart and nerdy like me! You'll have to come visit! And you have to try the breakfast burritos! They. Are. Amazing." Dustin says excitedly through the receiver, talking far too fast.
"I'm sure I will sometime, Dusty." You smile, though your tone still comes off a little sad. You're glad he seems to be fitting in well and adjusting to living away from home. But you miss having the little goober around to get on your nerves.
"What about you? Everything going okay? You know...with school, and work..." Dustin does his best to avoid the tender subject, but you know immediately that he's alluding to Eddie. You suppose they've probably talked at some point recently, they are pretty close. You aren't sure you want to have this conversation with him. But maybe another perspective will help you figure out what choice to make.
"I'm fine, Dusty. I mean, I'm not fine. But I'm doing my best." You pause, wondering if you dare ask what Eddie said to him. "I take it you and Eddie talked? About...us?" You ask, wanting to bash your own head in with the phone for opening this can of worms.
"Well, yeah. He's, like, my best friend. But he told me everything about the party, and Chrissy, and all the other idiotic shit." Dustin explains, making you laugh at his earnest use of the word 'idiotic'. "I'm really sorry, Y/N. I had no idea they had history. He seemed really ashamed of it. God, I swear he was crying a little over the phone." He says sullenly, his heart aching for the both of you. He can't imagine what you must be going through. The broken trust you must feel, and the guilt wracking Eddie to the core. It sounds like a complete mess. Much like all your friends, though, he's still rooting for the both of you. He may not know a whole lot about love, his only real relationship crashed and burned. But he can guarantee a picture of you and Eddie would be smack dab under the word, if one looked it up in Merriam-Webster.
"I'm sure he was. I know he feels bad, he's told me so himself. And I don't want it to be a big deal. But, somehow it is. Eddie's never lied to me about anything, except this. He did everything he could to ensure I wouldn't find out about him and Chrissy. I just...I wonder what else he's lied to me about." You bite down on your trembling lip at the thought, unable to stomach the concept of every single thing Eddie's ever said being untrue. That the truth is...he doesn't love you, or like you. That he only ever said that to get further into your pants. Deep down, you know none of these suppositions make sense. But if you're honest with yourself, his little affair with Chrissy doesn't either. Not to you, anyway. He could've easily found someone else to screw, but he chose her. Why?
"Y/N, I know it's especially hard to believe right now. But I swear to you, on our mother, that Eddie is no liar. At least, he's not one to make a habit of it. I really think that all this is, is a huge mistake he regrets. I'm sure if he could take it all back, he would. But he can't, so the next best thing was hiding it." Dustin explains emphatically, really going to bat for his friend.
"I know...You're right. Everyone is. I'm just overreacting一" You say, slightly annoyed. Everybody sounds like a goddamn broken record lately.
"I didn't say that, Y/N. And if I know the others as well as I think I do, no one else did, either." He cuts you off. "Look, all I'm trying to say is that you both love and care for each other. Like, more than I ever thought two people possibly could. And while it's up to you what you want to do, I think it would be pretty stupid to throw in the towel over this."
You roll your eyes at his words, but he's not wrong. Until the party, you had such a wonderful thing going with Eddie. You made a home together, and it was perfect. You were happy. Truly happy for the first time in your life. And your entire being aches to get that feeling back. "I know." You finally reply, barely above a whisper. "T-tell me more about California." You stutter, sniffing hard and wiping a tear from your eye as you change the subject.
Dustin thankfully lets you be about your broken relationship, fully aware that his words have been taken into strong consideration. He fills you in on everything, mostly about all the science-y stuff and delicious food he's been devouring lately. He's always been quite the sponge, absorbing the world around him to his heart's content. Hearing him speak so cheerfully about his new life lifts your spirits, allowing you to put your own troubles aside. You're so proud of him, achieving such great things already. You hope he'll come home for the holidays, it definitely wouldn't be the same without him.
After Dustin has talked your ear off for a good hour or so, you give the phone back to Mom and go to your room. The rest of your night is calm, and cool-headed. You really take Dustin's words to heart, allowing the things everyone's been saying to truly soak in. Eddie didn't want to deceive you, and nothing else about his words or actions has been dishonest. He made a bad choice, as any human being does from time to time. You yourself have made some choices you aren't proud of, namely dating Tommy and putting up with the abuse he inflicted on you. But you know better now, and so does Eddie. He loves you more than anything in the world, and you love him just as much.
Despite your talk with Dustin bringing you around a bit, you still keep your distance from Eddie for a little longer. You aren't sure why, really. Perhaps it’s an exercise in self-control. Getting yourself comfortable with the idea of being alone, if something else causes your partnership with Eddie to end for good. You know, just in case. You continued your routine, slowly warming up to him again. A small smile at work here, a brief 'good night' at the end of a shift there. Little things to let him know that soon, you'll be ready to try this again. You've felt a bit bad, seeing him sulking behind concessions, or sweeping the theater sluggishly. But he hasn't called, or tried to talk to you about anything besides work. He's lets you have your space, waiting patiently for you to come back to him.
Friday, October 13th, 1989
October is well underway by the time you think you're ready to take Eddie back. The air is cooler, and the leaves have turned to rich hues of yellow, orange, and red. It's currently Friday the 13th, and Robin insisted on coming over for the night and watching the horror film named after this mysterious day, which she vehemently claims is 'tradition'. You find it a bit silly, you're far from superstitious. But you're glad to have the company. You've grown much closer to Robin these last few weeks, to a point where you'd safely call her your best friend. Vickie is definitely a lucky girl, even though you still haven't met her yet. Robin swears she'll be attending Steve's Halloween party, and she's eager to meet everyone.
"Ready to watch some horny teens get slaughtered?" Robin asks, holding a VHS tape in her hand as she stands in your doorway.
"You know it!" You reply giddily, stepping aside to let her come in. You close the door behind her, and go to the kitchen. "I've already got the popcorn ready, and I've been chilling some wine I bought after class. So, just pop that tape in and we'll一" You're cut off by the doorbell ringing, which you find odd. You didn't invite anyone else over tonight, at least, not successfully. Steve's manning Family Video on his own tonight, and Nancy doesn't like scary movies. Wondering who it is, you go right back over to the door and pull it open. And you find the absolute last person you'd expect to darken your doorstep. Chrissy. Maybe this day is unlucky after all. "Oh, no. Absolutely not." You chuckle angrily, shaking your head and attempting to slam the door in her face. You don't want to hear a damn thing this whore has to say. But she blocks the door with her body, desperate to speak with you.
"Y/N, please. I just want to talk." Chrissy insists, her sad eyes begging with yours to let her in.
"About what? Have you been talking to Eddie?" You ask accusingly, ready to try and force her out again.
"No! I-I tried to. Just to apologize. But, he hung up on me." She explains, straining against your grip on the door. "Please, just give me five minutes."
"Fine. Five minutes. And they better be good ones." You sigh in annoyance, ceasing your pushing. She steps inside, meekly holding her purse close to her body.
"Uh, what the fuck is she doing here?" Robin asks angrily after she's put the tape in the VCR. She crosses her arms, standing her ground. She looks about ready to beat Chrissy up on your behalf.
"Relax, Rob. We're just gonna talk in my room for a minute." You explain, leading Chrissy down the hall to your bedroom.
"Alright. Let me know if I have to kick some skank ass!" Robin calls after you, peeking her head down the hallway. She narrows her eyes at Chrissy, making her gasp in fear.
"Alright. Out with it." You say flatly after you close the bedroom door. You lean against it, standing above her as she sits on your bed.
"Look, Y/N. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed Eddie at your party. That was wrong of me. I just...still had feelings for him after what we used to have." She explains sadly, looking down at her hands. She kisses your boyfriend, in front of everyone, and she can't even look you in the eye.
"I'm not really interested in hearing what you two 'used to have', Chrissy." You snip, and she finally looks at you.
"No. I know. And I'll never forgive myself for any of this. The affair, the kiss, the drugs. But I want you to know that Eddie in no way reciprocated it. He froze up, he didn't feel the way he used to. It was clear to me at that moment that he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. He only cares for you." She speaks sincerely, not breaking away from your gaze this time. She knows how wrong all of this is, that she shouldn't have betrayed her friends like this. All you've done is try to help her, and she acted selfishly in return.
"Is that all?" You ask, still none too happy to have her in your house.
"Yeah. I guess it is." Chrissy nods, standing up. "I don't expect you to forgive me, Y/N. I certainly wouldn't. But...don't let Eddie go. He loves you so much, I see the way you two are when you're together. Don't lose out on something that comes once in a lifetime, if you're lucky." She gently pats your shoulder, and you surprisingly don't shrug her off. You just lead her out of the room, and give her a small 'thank you' at the front door. You sit down on the couch once she's gone, and Robin comes to your side.
"I heard everything, Y/N. What do you think about it?" She asks softly, taking hold of your hand to ground you. You feel like you've left your own body for a moment. It's strange, you'd already drawn the conclusion that Eddie had no interest in Chrissy anymore. But to hear it straight from the horse's mouth, to know that not one ounce of him accepted her affection, even out of reflex? It means far more than any reassuring words you've gotten from anybody else. It's finally clicked for you now. You're ready.
"I think...I've got to get my boyfriend back." You say slowly, laughing in disbelief once the words leave your lips. You look at Robin, who's smiling brightly at you.
"That's great, Y/N. I'm so happy for you." She pulls you into a hug, squeezing you tight.
"I should call him!" You exclaim excitedly, about to lunge for the phone.
"Oh, no. I don't think so. You can call the dingus tomorrow. Tonight is our night. No boys, no drama. Just Pamela Voorhees, wine, and popcorn." Robin insists that you slow down and let the man wait another night. He'll survive, just like he has for three whole weeks.
"Ugh, you're right. We've got our plans, and I intend to honor them. Just let me get the glasses." You reply, feeling rather chipper now. You practically bounce off the sofa to get your snacks.
"That's my girl!" Robin cheers, getting the tape ready to start playing. You come back to the couch shortly after, switching off the lights along the way. You both settle in, draping a warm blanket over your laps and setting the bowl between you. Robin clicks the remote, and the movie begins to play.
You allow yourselves to become fully immersed in the film, jumping at every startling moment. You drink your wine, and munch down popcorn like nobody's business. It's rather nice to turn your brain off and relax for a while. It's not something you allow yourself to do all that much. Even during your sleepover, your mind still drifted to Eddie on numerous occasions. But now, you don't have to worry about that. You'll call him tomorrow, and go back home to the apartment. One last night of solitary fun won't kill you.
About halfway through the movie, though, you really have to pee. "Can you pause it? I gotta run to the bathroom." You ask.
"Sure thing." Robin nods, clicking the remote to freeze the film.
You paw your way down the pitch-dark hallway, finding the bathroom after a small struggle. You might just be a teensy bit tipsy. You flick on the light, not even bothering to close the door. It's just you and Rob in the house, and she's not gonna come down here. You take your time relieving yourself, thinking about how wonderful tomorrow is going to be. You'll be with your man again, no doubt fucking like bunnies to make up for lost time. You smile to yourself at the thought, but you're interrupted by the sound of Robin talking to somebody on the phone. You wonder who it is, hopefully she's not blabbing to Steve about your decision. News will travel fast, that's for sure.
"Who were you talking to?" You ask once you return to the room.
"Oh, just my Mom. Letting her know I'll be home tomorrow. I'm way too buzzed to drive home tonight." She says, laughing nervously. Robin is notoriously awful at lying.
"Uh-huh. Sure." You say, unconvinced. But you'll let it be, for now. You keep watching the movie, observing Jason's mother slashing away at promiscuous young adults, earning revenge for letting her little boy drown. It's kind of a sad movie, when you really think about it. That poor woman, she just wanted her son to have a semi-normal childhood. And those assholes who were supposed to watch him were too busy screwing to pay attention. You know you're not supposed to side with the killer in these things, but Pamela Voorhees can surely be the exception. Right?
You let out a long yawn once the credits roll, looking over at the clock. Almost ten. It's not that late, but after school, work, and dealing with Chrissy, you can't help feeling exhausted. A satisfied kind of exhausted, like you've accomplished a lot in one day. But exhausted nonetheless. You're about to get up, taking the empty glasses with you, when you hear the sound of an electric guitar outside. What the fuck?
"Rob, what did you do?" You ask, turning to her with a suspicious look.
"Why don't you let me clean up, and you can go see for yourself?" She replies with a grin. She had in fact called Steve while you were in the bathroom, letting him know what you'd decided. He then passed the news on to Eddie, who has been planning the ultimate way to woo you back into his arms. He spent hours learning one of your favorite songs, even though he doesn't like it much himself. All so he can sweep you off your feet like a true gentleman does.
"Jesus, you guys are incorrigible." You laugh, shaking your head as you stand up. You're dressed in your pj's, not exactly the sexiest thing for Eddie to see you in. But screw it, it sounds like he's got a spectacle of romance waiting for you outside. You go to the door, turning the knob to pull it open. You step out into the night, finding Eddie on your lawn with his guitar slung over his shoulder, plugged into his amp. He's even got a damn microphone set up, and he's lit up by headlights. Where all his equipment is plugged in, you have no idea. The Hellfire kids, Max, Nancy, and Steve are all here, having been brought over in the van or in Steve's or Nancy's car.
You approach the small crowd they've formed in front of Eddie's set-up, and they usher you to the front of it. Your eyes truly meet his for the first time in weeks, and you feel the sparks flying inside you instantly. He looks sexy as hell, his hair tied back, smiling cheerily as he's so happy to see you. He's wearing a red flannel, one of his typical t-shirts underneath, and his usual tight black jeans with the holes in the knees. He grips his guitar like an extension of himself, strumming the notes you recognize immediately. No fuckin' way, he learned a Bon Jovi song for me?
"Hey, sweetheart. This one's for you." Eddie says, giving you a cheeky wink before he starts to sing. "I guess this time you're really leavin'. I heard your suitcase say 'goodbye'. Well, as my broken heart lies bleedin'. You say true love is suicide..." He sings breathily into the mic, the words immediately melting your heart. You know how much he dislikes this song, how cheesy and awful he says it is. But he knows you love it, so he's singing it just for you. His eyes are glued to yours as he sings, his fingers hitting the notes effortlessly. You haven't seen Eddie play a whole lot since you've been together, at least, not like this. "You say you've cried a thousand rivers, and now you're swimmin' to the shore. You left me drownin' in my tears, and you won't save me anymore."
His heart pours out of his mouth with every lyric, truly feeling the music and the strong emotions coursing through him. You watch on, hypnotized by his dark, velvety voice. Again, you've heard him sing plenty, you'd swear he was an exotic bird in another life. But it's nothing compared to this. It's like he's ripping his chest wide open, letting you see all the vulnerable bits beating away inside. The song picks up for the chorus, and he plays it like he wrote the damn song himself. "I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you. When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you. I'll be there for you. I'd live and I'd die for you. I'd steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can't say what love can do, I'll be there for you."
It slows down once again, and you can't help swaying along as he performs the second verse for you. "I know you know we've had some good times, now they have their own hiding place. Well, I can promise you tomorrow, but I can't buy back yesterday." Eddie's breath catches on the last few words, and you see a couple tears escape his eyes. It's funny, the words of the song have never rung so true for you until this moment. It perfectly encapsulates how you've been both feeling, how you ended up here. And with every line he recites, it's a promise made to you for all time. A promise to take care of you, and never lead you down the wrong road again. You're suddenly overcome with the urge to tell him how much you also want to make this promise. Your feet move before you even realize what you're doing, bringing yourself right beside Eddie to sing the chorus with him this time. His smile grows, and everyone cheers. "Help me out, sweetheart." He chuckles, and you lean into the mic with him.
"I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you. When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you. I'll be there for you. I'd live and I'd die for you. I'd steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can't say what love can do, I'll be there for you." The two of you sound amazing together, tears streaming down your faces as you gaze in one another's eyes. You silently agree to skip the last verse, as you're about to become an absolute mess in a minute. So you finish it out with the 'whoa-oh's that usually come at the end, with everyone else joining in to sing with you. Eddie punches out those final notes, and you pull him into you once he's done.
Your lips crash against his, and the crowd goes wild. Whooping and clapping and whistling as you hold each other close. Eddie's hands strongly grip your waist, and your arms are so tight around his neck you're almost choking him. But neither of you care one bit. You're too engrossed in having the kiss you've been waiting for, your hearts overflowing with love and affection. You melt against him, allowing his needy tongue to slither into your mouth. Your faces are hot and flushed, absolutely dripping with tears. But you don't dare pull away yet, not until you absolutely have to come up for breath.
"I believe I have something of yours." Eddie pants once you stop kissing, reaching into his pocket for your necklace. He holds it in his palm, presenting it to you for the second time.
"You wanna put it on me, love?" You ask giddily, biting your lip.
"Sure thing, babydoll." He smirks, giving you another short kiss before turning you around. He brings the pick around your neck, fastening the gold chain in the back. You turn back around to show him, and his eyes sparkle with glee. "That's my girl." He chuckles, quickly slipping his guitar over his head and setting it down. Eddie quickly scoops you up into his arms, making you shriek in surprise.
"Eddie! What are you doing!" You cackle, wrapping your arms around him to hold on.
"Takin' you home, baby. Back where you belong." He says simply, carrying you towards the van.
"But what about our stuff?" You ask, wondering why he's in such a rush.
"I'll get it loaded up real quick. But you are gonna stay right here. Because when we get home, I am gonna spoil you all night long." Eddie says lowly in your ear, sending that familiar chill of pleasure up your spine. You've definitely missed that, the deep purr of his voice saying filthy things that make your pussy throb. He sets you down, opening your door and ushering you into your seat. "I won't be long, princess. Stay put." He pats the side of the door a couple times, running back to retrieve all your belongings. Obviously everyone helps him out, you watch them through the side mirror, and turn around in your seat as they get everything loaded into the back.
It doesn't take long, and everybody says their goodbyes and waves as Eddie pulls the van out of the driveway. You'll call mom at work once you get to the apartment, letting her know the good news. You'd hate for her to come home to an empty house again with no warning. The drive is quick, and anxious, the two of you itching to get inside and rip your clothes off. Eddie parks the van rather crooked in the apartment lot, and practically yanks you out of your seat to run inside and up the stairs. As soon as his key turns in the lock, and the door swings open, you're on each other in seconds. You slam the door shut, and press Eddie up against it.
"I missed you." You say desperately, still breathing hard from rushing to get inside. Your mouth immediately finds his again, unable to get enough of his taste that you've been craving. Tobacco, sweets, maybe a touch of beer. Eddie drops his keys on the floor, which alerts Arwen to your presence. She comes dashing down the hallway, meowing louder than you ever thought a cat could. She scampers up your back, wrapping herself around your shoulders. She nuzzles her head into your neck, her thick fur tickling your flesh. You pull away from Eddie, giggling at Arwen's affection.
"I missed you too, Y/N. Maybe not as much as the cat, though." He chuckles, reaching forward to give her some scritches. She purrs excitedly, happy to have both her parents home again. You can only imagine how she's been without you here, crying for you all day and night. That must've been rough for Eddie to deal with.
"How was she while I was away?" You ask, carefully plucking her off your shoulders to cradle her in your arms instead.
"Ugh, it was awful. She didn't want to eat unless I hand fed her, and she wouldn't stop meowing. She even shit on the floor a few times out of stress." Eddie explains, crinkling his nose.
"Jesus. I'm sorry you had to handle that by yourself." You tut, giving him a meaningful look.
"It's fine, Y/N. I consider it fair punishment." He replies, his face falling a little. In all honesty, he feels he deserved far worse. "And I know I haven't said it yet, for some idiotic reason. But, I'm sorry for lying to you, sweetheart. I should've been honest with you, and I promise that's the only thing I've ever lied about in our relationship. And I will never, ever do that again." He says sincerely. He knows you've already forgiven him, but it's important for him to give you a real apology. It's the least he can do, it's what he should've done so much sooner.
"I know, Eds. It's all okay now. It's funny, Chrissy actually came around the house today." You start, Eddie's eyes widening.
"Really?" He asks in shock, wondering what you two may have discussed. That is, if you gave her the time of day as opposed to kicking her ass.
"Yeah, she apologized for the whole thing. She made it clear that you wanted no part in that kiss. And she told me that as soon as she did it, she knew you only have feelings for me now. It's exactly what I needed to hear, to help me see past this whole thing." You say sweetly, setting the cat down and putting your hands on his chest.
"Well, I'm glad she did that for you. I'm guessing you're still pretty pissed at her, though. I know I am." His hands find your hips, pulling you in closer until your body is flush with his.
"Oh, big time. That bitch is never setting foot in here again." You say half-jokingly, drawing a breezy laugh from the both of you. "Now, you said something about spoiling me?" You ask, lifting your knee to brush against Eddie's crotch. He groans at the contact, unable to hold back. It's been so long since you've touched him like this. He hasn't even had the sense to 'take care of himself' since you've left. He's thought about it, taking those photos you took for him from the nightstand and yanking one out. But he felt like it would be wrong to do that, and he was sure he'd just end up crying while looking at them anyway. And that is a total boner killer.
"I certainly did, angel." He smiles, lifting you up to put your legs around his waist. You can feel the beginnings of his erection rubbing against you, ramping up your excitement for what he's got in store for you. He carries you to the bedroom, tossing you onto the bed and climbing on top of you shortly after. He kneels above you, cupping your cheek as he gazes at you lovingly. "Promise you'll never leave again?" He asks softly.
"You promise to stop being a dumbass?" You tease.
"Cross my heart and hope to die, sweetheart." Eddie chuckles, making an ‘X’ over his chest while slowly lowering his lips toward yours.
"Then so do I." You reply just before his plush mouth reaches your own. You let him take the lead, curious to see how exactly he intends to spoil you tonight. He nudges your lips open, slipping his tongue inside to tangle with yours. "Mmm." You moan quietly, your body heating up from the heart-stopping kiss. His hand creeps up your side, finding and squeezing your breast. "Eddie." You whimper as his thumb brushes over your clothed nipple, your hips bucking up slightly.
"Already so needy for me, princess?" Eddie asks darkly, pinching the sensitive nub through the thin fabric.
"Yes, baby. I've missed you so much. If I'm being honest, there were times where I couldn't stop thinking about this. Even when I was so angry with you." You answer breathlessly, your back arching as his lips find your throat.
"Did you ever do anything about it?" He questions, dying to know if you touched yourself while you were away. The mental image of you rubbing your clit and fingering your pussy while moaning his name makes his cock twitch.
"No. It would've just made me sad. Did you ever...?" You trail off, knowing he understands what you mean without fully asking.
"Not once. Nothing compares to you, love." He says, biting down hard on your throat to make you squeal. He's missed your noises so very much, the way you hold absolutely nothing back from him. "These pajamas are pretty cute, by the way. Are they new?" He asks, slipping his hand underneath your shirt now. He has to feel your supple flesh in his big, strong hands.
"They're Robin's. I'd forgotten to pack my own when I left, so she let me borrow them." You say, gasping when his hand closes around your tit again. Everything he's doing feels so good, and it's making you unbelievably wet. Your hands slip into his hair as he continues to nip and suck on your neck. You're sure to have a fresh batch of hickies in the morning, once again branding you as Eddie's girl.
"That was nice of her. Sounds like she's been a really good friend to you lately." He says casually.
"Yeah, she really has. I don't know how I would've kept myself together without her." You reply, though you'd prefer to focus on the task at hand. "Now, are we gonna do this, or are we gonna talk about other women all night?" You lower a hand between your bodies, palming Eddie's cock through his jeans.
"Okay." He moans. "Message received, sweetheart. Sex now, talk later." He laughs, sitting up to take his flannel off. He slips it off his arms, tossing it to the floor. He lifts his t-shirt over his head, exposing his beautiful chest. Your hands are immediately on him, running your palms up and down his skin, stopping to admire his ink like it's the very first time.
"I've missed this gorgeous body of yours, Eds." You admit, raising yourself to his level. You press your lips to his chest, leaving open-mouthed kisses in a haphazard trail. He hums at the contact, peering down at you as your pretty lips worship him.
"I've missed yours too, babydoll." He tugs at the hem of your shirt, wanting to see your perfect tits. You allow him to take it off, throwing it across the room. It lands on Arwen who's curled up in her bed, earning a disapproving 'mew' from her. Your breasts bounce slightly once the garment is gone, drawing Eddie's eyes right to them. He takes them in his hands, roughly massaging them. "And I've definitely missed these." He lowers his head to admire your own chest now, carefully nipping and sucking in all the places he remembers will drive you wild.
"Fuck, Eds..." You whine, savoring every drag of his teeth and swirl of his tongue. His lips close around your left nipple, drawing more needy sounds from your lips. "Please, baby. I need you." You scoot yourself forward, straddling his lap in your desperation. You grind yourself down onto him, moaning at the friction of his stiff cock rubbing against your clit.
"Slow down, princess. I'm gonna take care of you." Eddie says sweetly, leaving your chest alone and guiding you to lay down again. "I gotta say I love how needy you are, though. Still such a filthy little slut for me, aren't you?" He asks, hands grabbing at the waistband of your pants now.
"Just for you, my love." You nod, waiting for him to remove the rest of your clothes and see for himself exactly how filthy you are. He slowly pulls the pajamas and your panties down, the clothing joining the rest in seconds. You spread your legs, allowing him to get a good look.
"Fuck, you're soaked, sweetheart." He groans at the sight, so relieved to see your glistening folds again. He licks his lips, like a starving animal. Before either of you can think to do anything else, Eddie dives between your legs and immediately starts licking hungry strokes from your entrance to your bundle of nerves.
"Oh my god!" You cry out, taken completely by surprise. Your hips jolt when his warm mouth meets your cunt, but he quickly laces his arms around your thighs to hold you still. He greedily swirls his tongue around your bud, and dips inside your dripping hole in manic patterns. "Mm, I'm guessing you missed my pussy, too?" You ask seductively, allowing yourself to relax and enjoy his relentless chow-down.
"Yes. So much. You taste so fuckin' sweet. Best pussy in the world." Eddie answers frantically between strokes and flicks of his tongue. You're already building up towards an orgasm, unable to believe how quickly it's coming to be. But everything about this is driving you insane with pleasure. His crazed movements, the depraved moans and slurps he makes as he drinks you all up, his fingers digging into your thighs, his crotch rutting against the bed as he struggles for some friction of his own. He's completely unhinged, untamed. And it won't take long at all to make you cum.
"Keep going, Eds. You feel so good...such a perfect boy for me..." You whimper, grinding your hips against his face. Your hands are tangled in his hair, tugging repeatedly as you move with him. You're both an absolute mess, grabbing at one another any way you possibly can as he eats you out like you're his last meal. Eddie ups the stakes, adding two thick, ringed fingers inside your pussy, pumping them in and out at a rapid pace. "Fuck! Oh, Eddie...you're gonna make me cum already. Don't stop, please." You feel like your mind is melting, unable to comprehend how amazing everything feels.
"Cum for me, sweetheart. Soak my face like a good little slut." Eddie commands, his tone pitched and broken. He's been steadily humping the bed this whole time, driven so far out of control by the taste, smell, and sound of you. Once you let it all go, so will he. A big sticky mess in his boxers, all because of you. He curls his fingers harder and faster inside you, and sucks harshly on your clit to send you flying over the edge.
"Eddie! Fuck!" You cry out as an unbelievable high violently rips through you. Your thighs clamp down around his head, nails digging into his scalp. Your muscles spasm, and you completely soak Eddie's face and the sheets with your cum. He groans into your pussy once you've given him what he wants, his load spilling inside his pants, hips bucking a few final times against the mattress to ride out his orgasm. But he doesn't stop there, he crawls back up to you to press his cum-soaked lips to yours. You're still trying to catch your breath, but you meet him in the middle anyway. "Baby, I want more, I want you. All of you, over and over again, please?" You beg clumsily between those same starving kisses from before. It's like you can't help yourselves, clamoring for every bit of pleasure that you can get, completely drunk with lust.
"You'll get everything you want, angel. I promise. I won't stop until you beg me to." Eddie pants, leaving a sticky trail of arousal on your skin as he kisses every last inch of you he can reach. It's gonna be a long night. That first orgasm was far too quick, not nearly enough to satisfy you. It's a good thing you don't have a damn thing to worry about tomorrow. No work, or school, or heartbreak. All you have to focus on now, is each other.
To be continued...
#fanfiction#hippiegoth97#smut#stranger things#eddie munson#hawkins#1980s#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x henderson!reader#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x you
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